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Homeschooling with Conduct Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 716318" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have adopted a child like your son. He was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder which is common in adopted kids who did not have nurturing in infant and toddler years. Also there is his genetic hisory and substance abuse in utero...not a good deck of cards. Attachment disorder has a different cause but the symptoms and lack of remirse and empathy are the same as conduct disorder.</p><p></p><p>Forcing him to do things he doesnt want to do could be extremely dangerous and he may act out on others later on. I wouldnt try it. He is not going to listen or put up with you "winning."</p><p></p><p>We had to dissolve this adoption (we have three other adopted kids who are thriving). This child killed two dogs, set little fires, stole, lied and held a knife to younger kids and made them allow him to molest them. He was 13 when he was caught and far too dangerous to live in a family. We havent seen him since he was taken away. Our family survived due to close husband/wife bond and resiliency of abused young kids who received much good therapy for free from our county. Thank God!</p><p></p><p>My advice is to not homeschool him and to consider out of home placement. This is a seven year old but right now he is dangerous to you and your other kids and any pets you have. Our child pretended to love our pets (until he killed them). After he left, we learned all else from traumatized younger kids. He had been six years older than them so the county charged him with first degree assault of a minor, even at age 13, and he was on the sexual registry site for a long time. He went to a sort of jsil for young sexual predators and tried to perp even there. I hope he got better because he is now over 20 and on the streets per his Facebook, which we still check.</p><p></p><p></p><p>My advice is to not be us...this kid is not going to improve with his genetics and the substance abuse in utero. He is a tragedy waiting to happen. I learned that we cant save the world and that some kids were so traumatized early on that love scares them and makes them worse.</p><p></p><p>If you do want to keep him at home, and you have younger or vulnerable kids, lock their doors at night to keep him out and put an alarm on his bedroom door to alert you when he leaves his room at night. That way you can also get up and monitor him and the others. Much of the damage happens while everyone is asleep. Never let him play with a kid or pet out of your direct sight.</p><p></p><p>I also had a friend who did foster care. An eight year old boy set fire to their home on purpose ( he admitted it) "because I was mad." They lived in a hotel for months.</p><p></p><p>Both of us stopped doing foster care and adopting after these incidents.</p><p></p><p>Please....residential care may help more than you can. It is 24/7 with cameras and therapy. His threats to kill and the knives are not appropriate in a family with other children. He may never be okay. Yes, we also felt that loving our child enough would cure him. It didnt do a thing.</p><p></p><p>Please be safe. Lock up all your sharp objects and use plastic dinner wear and paper cups and plates. Nothing that can break or be used as a weapon.</p><p> He should NEVER have access to anything potentially sharp. This kid is young but young with a butcher knife makes him pretty tall and strong. Take precautions.</p><p></p><p>I would also have him evaluated for potential brain damage from the alcohol and other substances pre birth. A neuro psychologist (psychologisf with extra training in the brain) is an excellent source for extensive testing for this. You find them in university and childrens hospitals and clinics. You need to know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 716318, member: 1550"] I have adopted a child like your son. He was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder which is common in adopted kids who did not have nurturing in infant and toddler years. Also there is his genetic hisory and substance abuse in utero...not a good deck of cards. Attachment disorder has a different cause but the symptoms and lack of remirse and empathy are the same as conduct disorder. Forcing him to do things he doesnt want to do could be extremely dangerous and he may act out on others later on. I wouldnt try it. He is not going to listen or put up with you "winning." We had to dissolve this adoption (we have three other adopted kids who are thriving). This child killed two dogs, set little fires, stole, lied and held a knife to younger kids and made them allow him to molest them. He was 13 when he was caught and far too dangerous to live in a family. We havent seen him since he was taken away. Our family survived due to close husband/wife bond and resiliency of abused young kids who received much good therapy for free from our county. Thank God! My advice is to not homeschool him and to consider out of home placement. This is a seven year old but right now he is dangerous to you and your other kids and any pets you have. Our child pretended to love our pets (until he killed them). After he left, we learned all else from traumatized younger kids. He had been six years older than them so the county charged him with first degree assault of a minor, even at age 13, and he was on the sexual registry site for a long time. He went to a sort of jsil for young sexual predators and tried to perp even there. I hope he got better because he is now over 20 and on the streets per his Facebook, which we still check. My advice is to not be us...this kid is not going to improve with his genetics and the substance abuse in utero. He is a tragedy waiting to happen. I learned that we cant save the world and that some kids were so traumatized early on that love scares them and makes them worse. If you do want to keep him at home, and you have younger or vulnerable kids, lock their doors at night to keep him out and put an alarm on his bedroom door to alert you when he leaves his room at night. That way you can also get up and monitor him and the others. Much of the damage happens while everyone is asleep. Never let him play with a kid or pet out of your direct sight. I also had a friend who did foster care. An eight year old boy set fire to their home on purpose ( he admitted it) "because I was mad." They lived in a hotel for months. Both of us stopped doing foster care and adopting after these incidents. Please....residential care may help more than you can. It is 24/7 with cameras and therapy. His threats to kill and the knives are not appropriate in a family with other children. He may never be okay. Yes, we also felt that loving our child enough would cure him. It didnt do a thing. Please be safe. Lock up all your sharp objects and use plastic dinner wear and paper cups and plates. Nothing that can break or be used as a weapon. He should NEVER have access to anything potentially sharp. This kid is young but young with a butcher knife makes him pretty tall and strong. Take precautions. I would also have him evaluated for potential brain damage from the alcohol and other substances pre birth. A neuro psychologist (psychologisf with extra training in the brain) is an excellent source for extensive testing for this. You find them in university and childrens hospitals and clinics. You need to know. [/QUOTE]
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