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Substance Abuse
Honeymoon is over, son took off
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757985" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Helpless</p><p></p><p>First thing is to call his probation officer, ASAP, as I would guess you accepted responsibility for him, conditionally that he follow certain rules. </p><p></p><p>I agree with the others. Your son is continuing to choose to behave in ways that you can't allow. You can't allow them in your home and you can't permit him to do this near you. To do this, is not only to consent. It is to help him. To enable him. I was very slow to learn this. This is a simple and necessary boundary. He cannot be in your home or live in your home. He is persisting over time to choose this, regardless of who it is who offers care and protection.</p><p></p><p>If he calls you you reiterate to him that he is not permitted to use drugs of any sort under your roof, thus he cannot come back. He needs to call his probation offer to make other arrangements. I would also call the probation officer to inform them, asap. If he shows up, that's harder. That's one reason why I would call the probation officer first, to obtain guidance from them. Also, it seems clear to me that he is violation conditions of his probation, by illegal drug use.</p><p></p><p>Depending upon how the Probation Officer responds, there are other things you can do.</p><p></p><p>If he comes to your house, I am worried he will cause an altercation. I would not under any circumstances allow him inside. I would call the probation officer right now, and get direction. If it were me I would call the cops. You have direct evidence and an admission he is abusing substances. But I cannot stress enough how important it is to call the PO. If you don't and you are aware of illegal activity you can be help indirectly responsible, especially with the presence of small children. I think you owe it to your husband, too, to take a hard line about keeping the household safe.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757985, member: 18958"] Dear Helpless First thing is to call his probation officer, ASAP, as I would guess you accepted responsibility for him, conditionally that he follow certain rules. I agree with the others. Your son is continuing to choose to behave in ways that you can't allow. You can't allow them in your home and you can't permit him to do this near you. To do this, is not only to consent. It is to help him. To enable him. I was very slow to learn this. This is a simple and necessary boundary. He cannot be in your home or live in your home. He is persisting over time to choose this, regardless of who it is who offers care and protection. If he calls you you reiterate to him that he is not permitted to use drugs of any sort under your roof, thus he cannot come back. He needs to call his probation offer to make other arrangements. I would also call the probation officer to inform them, asap. If he shows up, that's harder. That's one reason why I would call the probation officer first, to obtain guidance from them. Also, it seems clear to me that he is violation conditions of his probation, by illegal drug use. Depending upon how the Probation Officer responds, there are other things you can do. If he comes to your house, I am worried he will cause an altercation. I would not under any circumstances allow him inside. I would call the probation officer right now, and get direction. If it were me I would call the cops. You have direct evidence and an admission he is abusing substances. But I cannot stress enough how important it is to call the PO. If you don't and you are aware of illegal activity you can be help indirectly responsible, especially with the presence of small children. I think you owe it to your husband, too, to take a hard line about keeping the household safe. [/QUOTE]
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Honeymoon is over, son took off
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