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Hostage in my own home
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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 748187" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>I’m so sorry to hear of your situation. It’s devastating to know as you get older instead of being cared for you are being used, and worse abused. Others will come along with much better emotional support than I can offer. I’m a cut to chase kind of person, so when you are ready here are my suggestions. I caution you to not share anything I’m suggesting with either your daughter or grandson.</p><p></p><p>1. No more poring bleach, that’s not good for you either. If you can afford it get a green air purifier for your living space.</p><p></p><p>2. Are you in the US? If so call your county office for elder abuse and tell them your story. See what kind of help they can offer you. DO NOT tell your daughter or grandson about anything you discuss with them.</p><p></p><p>3. You say you have 100k equity in the home but it’s in disrepair. Consider running an auction for a house flip and moving to a rented place where you could eventually have assisted living and not have to worry about the house upkeep. You being a realtor, depending on where you live, could do much better just selling as is instead of a renovation and then sale. So many people are into flipping houses these days it’s become a sellers market in that area.</p><p></p><p>4. I don’t understand what you said about evicting them but it seems you can’t so okay, consider they will be in the house until you are no longer in it which means you might be in a keys for cash situation to get them out. But maybe the elder abuse people can help here too.</p><p></p><p>5. Do you have anyone else in the family or a trusted friend who can help you navigate this situation? I’m a pretty smart person but I get overwhelmed by emotionally charged situations and have a hard time working through them. I find having someone who’s removed from the emotion really helps in bad situations.</p><p></p><p>You can do this. Picture a future where you have nice small easy place to take care of and can spend your time getting together with others who have nothing but good will for you for lunch, cards, outings and whatever makes you happy. Sometimes we put all of our eggs in the basket of counting on family. I’ve come to the conclusion that often that’s not a good idea.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 748187, member: 22840"] I’m so sorry to hear of your situation. It’s devastating to know as you get older instead of being cared for you are being used, and worse abused. Others will come along with much better emotional support than I can offer. I’m a cut to chase kind of person, so when you are ready here are my suggestions. I caution you to not share anything I’m suggesting with either your daughter or grandson. 1. No more poring bleach, that’s not good for you either. If you can afford it get a green air purifier for your living space. 2. Are you in the US? If so call your county office for elder abuse and tell them your story. See what kind of help they can offer you. DO NOT tell your daughter or grandson about anything you discuss with them. 3. You say you have 100k equity in the home but it’s in disrepair. Consider running an auction for a house flip and moving to a rented place where you could eventually have assisted living and not have to worry about the house upkeep. You being a realtor, depending on where you live, could do much better just selling as is instead of a renovation and then sale. So many people are into flipping houses these days it’s become a sellers market in that area. 4. I don’t understand what you said about evicting them but it seems you can’t so okay, consider they will be in the house until you are no longer in it which means you might be in a keys for cash situation to get them out. But maybe the elder abuse people can help here too. 5. Do you have anyone else in the family or a trusted friend who can help you navigate this situation? I’m a pretty smart person but I get overwhelmed by emotionally charged situations and have a hard time working through them. I find having someone who’s removed from the emotion really helps in bad situations. You can do this. Picture a future where you have nice small easy place to take care of and can spend your time getting together with others who have nothing but good will for you for lunch, cards, outings and whatever makes you happy. Sometimes we put all of our eggs in the basket of counting on family. I’ve come to the conclusion that often that’s not a good idea. [/QUOTE]
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