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Hour in the bathroom with-a blanket, pillows, magazine and cell ph, therapist on speed dial
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 530825" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Terry,</p><p></p><p>I didn't see this before I responded to your earlier thread. I've got to stop and catch my breath just reading this! I found what whatamess said very interesting. I agree that while kids on the spectrum try to manipulate us, they're not capable of it. Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 were very forthright in telling me what they would do if I didn't give them what they wanted. While I agree with whatamess that if I had given in to their demands, they would have been able to calm down, at the same time, in my humble opinion, difficult children, like their typical developing peers, need to understand that they cannot control us even though they are unable to see things from any point of view but their own.</p><p></p><p>I like how hearts and roses handled the situation with her difficult child by giving her consequences but letting her keep her boom box. Looking back, when difficult child 2 was about six years old, we sold our first house and were moving to another one. Following the advice of his doctors, we sold his stuffed Curious George at our yard sale prior to the move. This was probably one of the biggest mistakes we made while raising him. To this day, he hasn't gotten over losing his Curious George. He is 20 years old!</p><p></p><p>While I think you handled the situation very well, even being able to calmly prepare dinner, from personal experience, I found that not responding to either difficult child 1 or difficult child 2 when they were in meltdown mode worked the best. I know this is easier said then done, especially when they can and do get violent, and that every situation is different, but with my difficult children, ignoring them was the way to go. Unfortunately both of them got a rise out of me responding to them and loved this, especially difficult child 1! I found that by not responding, while things got worse in the beginning (things got thrown, smashed, etc...), eventually the meltdown phase became shorter when it dawned on them that I wasn't going to respond unless they were calm.</p><p></p><p>Thinking of you today, hoping that therapist appointment helps! Hugs... SFR</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 530825, member: 3388"] Terry, I didn't see this before I responded to your earlier thread. I've got to stop and catch my breath just reading this! I found what whatamess said very interesting. I agree that while kids on the spectrum try to manipulate us, they're not capable of it. Both difficult child 1 and difficult child 2 were very forthright in telling me what they would do if I didn't give them what they wanted. While I agree with whatamess that if I had given in to their demands, they would have been able to calm down, at the same time, in my humble opinion, difficult children, like their typical developing peers, need to understand that they cannot control us even though they are unable to see things from any point of view but their own. I like how hearts and roses handled the situation with her difficult child by giving her consequences but letting her keep her boom box. Looking back, when difficult child 2 was about six years old, we sold our first house and were moving to another one. Following the advice of his doctors, we sold his stuffed Curious George at our yard sale prior to the move. This was probably one of the biggest mistakes we made while raising him. To this day, he hasn't gotten over losing his Curious George. He is 20 years old! While I think you handled the situation very well, even being able to calmly prepare dinner, from personal experience, I found that not responding to either difficult child 1 or difficult child 2 when they were in meltdown mode worked the best. I know this is easier said then done, especially when they can and do get violent, and that every situation is different, but with my difficult children, ignoring them was the way to go. Unfortunately both of them got a rise out of me responding to them and loved this, especially difficult child 1! I found that by not responding, while things got worse in the beginning (things got thrown, smashed, etc...), eventually the meltdown phase became shorter when it dawned on them that I wasn't going to respond unless they were calm. Thinking of you today, hoping that therapist appointment helps! Hugs... SFR [/QUOTE]
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