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General Parenting
Hour in the bathroom with-a blanket, pillows, magazine and cell ph, therapist on speed dial
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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 531062"><p>Terry, I'm amazed at how calm you were through all this. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 used to make threats like "I'm going to kill myself." "I'm going to hurt difficult child 2." Often his threats were disguised as a question "What would happen if I hit difficult child 2 in the head with a rock?" He was trying to get what he wanted by threats. He didn't connect his behavior to not getting loving reactions. He wanted my attention and he was going to get it. Your son wants something else (Xbox cord) but he is doing the same kind of behavior. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 only stopped after he was admitted to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and everything got very strict. If he wanted anything besides food and a place to sleep he had to earn it. Any little infraction of their rules and he lost points. He got in trouble for destruction of property for picking something out of the pond there and throwing it away. Yeah, they were a bit nuts. BUT, he needed very strict in order to feel secure. He didn't get the social rules of how to get what he wanted any other way besides threats and hurting others. Everything was always in chaos to him before the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He thrived in such a strict environment. Then he could learn in therapy how to get what he wanted, how what he was doing hurt others, o.k. we're still working on some of this - but you get the picture. Then he could feel more loved as his self respect grew.</p><p></p><p>At age 15, we can't let someone off the hook for their behavior because of their disability. Its not doing our kids any services and will end up getting someone else hurt. Especially when they make that connection that they can physically hurt to get what they want. Terry is doing a great job in a very hard situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 531062"] Terry, I'm amazed at how calm you were through all this. difficult child 1 used to make threats like "I'm going to kill myself." "I'm going to hurt difficult child 2." Often his threats were disguised as a question "What would happen if I hit difficult child 2 in the head with a rock?" He was trying to get what he wanted by threats. He didn't connect his behavior to not getting loving reactions. He wanted my attention and he was going to get it. Your son wants something else (Xbox cord) but he is doing the same kind of behavior. difficult child 1 only stopped after he was admitted to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and everything got very strict. If he wanted anything besides food and a place to sleep he had to earn it. Any little infraction of their rules and he lost points. He got in trouble for destruction of property for picking something out of the pond there and throwing it away. Yeah, they were a bit nuts. BUT, he needed very strict in order to feel secure. He didn't get the social rules of how to get what he wanted any other way besides threats and hurting others. Everything was always in chaos to him before the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He thrived in such a strict environment. Then he could learn in therapy how to get what he wanted, how what he was doing hurt others, o.k. we're still working on some of this - but you get the picture. Then he could feel more loved as his self respect grew. At age 15, we can't let someone off the hook for their behavior because of their disability. Its not doing our kids any services and will end up getting someone else hurt. Especially when they make that connection that they can physically hurt to get what they want. Terry is doing a great job in a very hard situation. [/QUOTE]
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