I have a problem with the three strikes and you're out policy. Always have had. To me, there are certain things that will get you out the door immediately -- violence, theft, hurting the animals. For the others, there are set consequences.
You stay out late and don't call or don't answer your phone when I call, you lose your phone. You take my car without permission, if you're lucky I'll only take the keys to your scooter -- keep the car too long and I'll call the police and report it stolen (too long is at my discretion).
As I'm sure you know, right now she is a tenant in her own home. She refuses to help with chores, which, to me, are part of being a family. So, she has lost the privileges of family life. Mom doesn't take her fun places. Mom doesn't help her with her wash or iron her clothes. Mom doesn't fix her her favorite foods (but I'll happily cook them and let the smells waft through the house hehe). She has to keep her door closed which means her cat doesn't visit her.
If she chooses to not shower, brush her teeth (neither of which are issues any more) or wash her clothes (big issue), her problem. She can go to work in dirty clothes or buy new ones. Her choice. She is on the border of losing the privilege in eating in her room -- she keeps leaving dishes in there.
So, I prefer specific consequences for actions that are not immediate removal. I can just see a chart (otherwise, how are you going to keep track?) -- X was done twice; Y was one; Z was twice; oh, you did A 3 times, out you go. Consequences can be changed as needed for survival of all.
I can't say I agree that you have to work if you're going to school fulltime, either. Sorry. My opinion for my daughter was, you may want to work to get the extras you want, but if you're happy just having the very basics, don't work. School, homework and high school activities are enough to keep most kids busy. Totally agree that part-time school or no school and you work and pay rent. I never made it a percentage of income, I made it a flat rate. Imagine if he got a job as a server -- how would you ever accurately calculate his income?
