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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 50231" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Sunny, difficult child has a case worker that i have talked to seeveral times. The group home coordinator has not contacted me at all. Services will depend on what group home he is placed into since one is over an hour from here and the other is right here in town. I am hoping for the one in town since difficult child cannot drive and we have public transportation that can help him get to appointments and training.The one an hour away is in a very bad neighborhood and even his PO has expressed concerns about him going there.</p><p></p><p>Barbara, I am doing OK for the most part. I am trully loving the peace that comes with not having difficult child in my daily life. I know that sounds terrible but I also know I can say it here and not be judged. I have no guilt. I know I did the best I could when there were so few options. I get frustrated at times both with the system and with difficult child. With the system because there is no good options for a person such as my son when they cannot live with their family. With my son because from his letters and phone calls I can tell that he really hasn't changed all that much. He still seems to be waiting for someone to rescue him rather than do what he needs to do. He still thinks it is all about him. He is still trying to manipulate people by trying to make them feel sorry for him. He still seems to be in denial about what his life is going to be like when he gets out. He thinks he is going to be free of emcumbrances and be in control of his life when in reality he will be on parole for years to come. I'm frustrated because knowing my difficult child I also know that he will make mistakes and with a vengeful PO such as his he will most likely end up back in prison. That is why I really want to get a complete neuro-psychiatric done as soon as possible after he gets out. If we can show that his brain is malfunctioning there are other legal avenues that we can take in the future. But If history is any indcator of the future difficult child won't be able to stay out of trouble long enough for me to get that done. And I am still angry with the professionals that I had him plugged into all his life for not seriously concidering the autism diagnosis. The more research I do into his genetic disorder and autism the more convinced I am that he could be acurately placed on the spectrum. I cannot tell you how many times I asked people who worked with him if this was a possibility and told no because he was "social". in my opinion he was social because he had had so very much attention and intervention from the age of three months when I got him. But because he was adopted he was always concidered to be attachment issues. No one ever ordered a neuro done on him and that is what angers me. I put my trust and confidance into professionals and they droped the ball. Even when difficult child was raging out of control I asked for a brain scan to rule out an anurism or other organic brain problems and was told that it was behavioral and within his control. Now that same person says "well maybe he is autistic, you need to get a neuro psychiatric" Well DUH!!!!! So the anger is something that I can push away but will probably never leave me completely especially if a neuro psychiatric does indicate he is autistic. I have mostly forgiven but I still have this lingering anger lieing just below the surface. Every once in a while I take it out and examine it and try to reason it away but it persists. The frustration manifests when I am trying to plan services and can't because I don't know when he will get out and I know that they need to be in place pretty much the day he gets out or he will fail. I am also frustrated because I know that if he could live here I could accomplish this much more easily but he made it abundantly clear that he cannot live here until he has been rehabilitated and maybe not even then. I feel like I am chasing my tail so to speak. And on top of all this I am lonesome. I need everyday friends but don't want to join organizations that will put more responsibilities on me at this time. I tryied a ladies organization that is all about fun but they are not accepting new members. I have good friends but they or I moved away and we don't get together often any more. I also had two die within the last few years. In addition difficult child told many lies to neighbors and others so I am a bit hesitant to put myself out there. Whew arent't you glad you asked? LOL -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 50231, member: 2315"] Sunny, difficult child has a case worker that i have talked to seeveral times. The group home coordinator has not contacted me at all. Services will depend on what group home he is placed into since one is over an hour from here and the other is right here in town. I am hoping for the one in town since difficult child cannot drive and we have public transportation that can help him get to appointments and training.The one an hour away is in a very bad neighborhood and even his PO has expressed concerns about him going there. Barbara, I am doing OK for the most part. I am trully loving the peace that comes with not having difficult child in my daily life. I know that sounds terrible but I also know I can say it here and not be judged. I have no guilt. I know I did the best I could when there were so few options. I get frustrated at times both with the system and with difficult child. With the system because there is no good options for a person such as my son when they cannot live with their family. With my son because from his letters and phone calls I can tell that he really hasn't changed all that much. He still seems to be waiting for someone to rescue him rather than do what he needs to do. He still thinks it is all about him. He is still trying to manipulate people by trying to make them feel sorry for him. He still seems to be in denial about what his life is going to be like when he gets out. He thinks he is going to be free of emcumbrances and be in control of his life when in reality he will be on parole for years to come. I'm frustrated because knowing my difficult child I also know that he will make mistakes and with a vengeful PO such as his he will most likely end up back in prison. That is why I really want to get a complete neuro-psychiatric done as soon as possible after he gets out. If we can show that his brain is malfunctioning there are other legal avenues that we can take in the future. But If history is any indcator of the future difficult child won't be able to stay out of trouble long enough for me to get that done. And I am still angry with the professionals that I had him plugged into all his life for not seriously concidering the autism diagnosis. The more research I do into his genetic disorder and autism the more convinced I am that he could be acurately placed on the spectrum. I cannot tell you how many times I asked people who worked with him if this was a possibility and told no because he was "social". in my opinion he was social because he had had so very much attention and intervention from the age of three months when I got him. But because he was adopted he was always concidered to be attachment issues. No one ever ordered a neuro done on him and that is what angers me. I put my trust and confidance into professionals and they droped the ball. Even when difficult child was raging out of control I asked for a brain scan to rule out an anurism or other organic brain problems and was told that it was behavioral and within his control. Now that same person says "well maybe he is autistic, you need to get a neuro psychiatric" Well DUH!!!!! So the anger is something that I can push away but will probably never leave me completely especially if a neuro psychiatric does indicate he is autistic. I have mostly forgiven but I still have this lingering anger lieing just below the surface. Every once in a while I take it out and examine it and try to reason it away but it persists. The frustration manifests when I am trying to plan services and can't because I don't know when he will get out and I know that they need to be in place pretty much the day he gets out or he will fail. I am also frustrated because I know that if he could live here I could accomplish this much more easily but he made it abundantly clear that he cannot live here until he has been rehabilitated and maybe not even then. I feel like I am chasing my tail so to speak. And on top of all this I am lonesome. I need everyday friends but don't want to join organizations that will put more responsibilities on me at this time. I tryied a ladies organization that is all about fun but they are not accepting new members. I have good friends but they or I moved away and we don't get together often any more. I also had two die within the last few years. In addition difficult child told many lies to neighbors and others so I am a bit hesitant to put myself out there. Whew arent't you glad you asked? LOL -RM [/QUOTE]
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