I was so out of balance about everything that mattered that I am surprised D H held faith with me at all. I am still confronted with wrongnesses in the way I think about marriage and family as I continue to heal, to this day. I regret so much about the way that I saw things; I try to concentrate instead on gratitude for having been able to come to see with more clarity.
I cannot believe the depth of harm done me. I have to admire myself for what I was able to do with so little.
I did have D H mom and sibs though, and that made a good, good difference for me, and for all of us.
Still, my values systems revolved around how not to be.
I think I did alright. I wish with all my heart I had known then what I know, now.
I would never have seen my Family of Origin.
D H believed we should, of course. We were talking about that last night, about how unbelievable their actions and intentions.
We need to give ourselves credit for the good things we did, Serenity. We had nothing, really. But we did the right thing the best we knew.
I was thinking about you last night, and about how you called your mom, and about how she hung up.
I wish I could have been there for you, then.
It is good we can be here for one another, now.
Cedar
It has been a hard, thankless journey, this business of learning how we grew up.
Somehow, I think I always believed I would find that magic thing that would bring everyone back together.
