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How do I go about getting my son to move out
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 466235"><p>I totally understand where you are at.... I have been in a similar situation with my son. It seems like what you want/need is for this to be a clear choice on his part rather than you having to really be the bad guy and kick him out without clear reasons except that it all is just getting to you. Sounds like his behavior is a little better but still not really better and still not really acceptable.</p><p></p><p>So this is what i suggest. Take some time to think about what would behavior would be acceptable to you for him to continue to live there. Sounds like you know what that is since you said you need to repeat your expectations. I know my son, who sounds similar to yours, does best when things are written down and very clear. </p><p></p><p>I would then draw up a contract in a sense with those expectations written out with a clear note that the consequence is that he needs to move out if he doesn't meet those expectations.</p><p></p><p>Now be careful that you are willing to follow through on any expectation in the contract... so it has to be really clear. So for example just saying "be respectful" is pretty nebulous and open to interpretation. However being home on time or at least letting you know where he is and when he will be back is more clear.... </p><p></p><p>The reality is unless your son is committed to really following the expectations he will not meet them and then he will have to move.</p><p></p><p>My son does not like to follow rules and so kept breaking them over and over... and i am not talking strict, unreasonable rules here. Finally we realized we had to kick him out because the lesson he was learning by living here and obeying no rules was not one that would serve him well in society.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 466235"] I totally understand where you are at.... I have been in a similar situation with my son. It seems like what you want/need is for this to be a clear choice on his part rather than you having to really be the bad guy and kick him out without clear reasons except that it all is just getting to you. Sounds like his behavior is a little better but still not really better and still not really acceptable. So this is what i suggest. Take some time to think about what would behavior would be acceptable to you for him to continue to live there. Sounds like you know what that is since you said you need to repeat your expectations. I know my son, who sounds similar to yours, does best when things are written down and very clear. I would then draw up a contract in a sense with those expectations written out with a clear note that the consequence is that he needs to move out if he doesn't meet those expectations. Now be careful that you are willing to follow through on any expectation in the contract... so it has to be really clear. So for example just saying "be respectful" is pretty nebulous and open to interpretation. However being home on time or at least letting you know where he is and when he will be back is more clear.... The reality is unless your son is committed to really following the expectations he will not meet them and then he will have to move. My son does not like to follow rules and so kept breaking them over and over... and i am not talking strict, unreasonable rules here. Finally we realized we had to kick him out because the lesson he was learning by living here and obeying no rules was not one that would serve him well in society. TL [/QUOTE]
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How do I go about getting my son to move out
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