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How do I go about getting my son to move out
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<blockquote data-quote="allydem" data-source="post: 467705" data-attributes="member: 12714"><p>Your situation sounds so familiar that I wonder if we're living parrallel lives. My ADHD son is 20 now, and I had to come to the decision to throw him out of the house after I discovered drug para in his closet. Thankfully, at the time, I discovered this board, and thankfully people in this forum are caring, nurturing, sympathetic and wise. I wouldn't be where I am now had it not been for words of wisdom of the people who respond. </p><p>The day I threw my son out was the darkest day of my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would someday be in this position. I still struggle with the thought of him living in the city ( he lives downtown now in his frat house), but I must admit, I am starting to sleep at night, and my eating habits aren't all over the map. For almost 20yrs, I sacrificed my life for my kids, and in the end, all I got was kicked in the teeth by my son. Although my son lives on his own, he's still being enabled by my ex, as "dad" who was absent for 9yrs now needs to prove that he's out to save the day. Nevertheless, whatever happens from this point on, it's on dad's shoulders. The day my son walked out the door, the last thing I said to him was that he was welcome to come back to visit anytime he wanted. All he had to do was call ahead. And then I took the house key away from him. That was tough, but it was the only way he could come to the realization that I meant business. His bedroom furniture has been moved into the basement, and I set up his room as a guest room, with new furniture. The first time he came back to visit,he was in shock. He's even comment to his sister that "mom doesn't need him anymore" to which she responded, "she never did." And that's just it. I don't "need" his wild nights, coming home drunk, worrying about whether he's taking his ADHD medications, and scrambling for money to feed his drug habit lifestyle. I need peace, serenity and that's exactly what I'm working on. It is, and always will be a work in progress for me, as I struggle with detaching myself from this adult child. And it will come to you too. Stick around here, read other posts, and some day, you'll feel better. I know I did, and am eternally grateful.</p><p></p><p>Prayers and hugs out to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="allydem, post: 467705, member: 12714"] Your situation sounds so familiar that I wonder if we're living parrallel lives. My ADHD son is 20 now, and I had to come to the decision to throw him out of the house after I discovered drug para in his closet. Thankfully, at the time, I discovered this board, and thankfully people in this forum are caring, nurturing, sympathetic and wise. I wouldn't be where I am now had it not been for words of wisdom of the people who respond. The day I threw my son out was the darkest day of my life. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would someday be in this position. I still struggle with the thought of him living in the city ( he lives downtown now in his frat house), but I must admit, I am starting to sleep at night, and my eating habits aren't all over the map. For almost 20yrs, I sacrificed my life for my kids, and in the end, all I got was kicked in the teeth by my son. Although my son lives on his own, he's still being enabled by my ex, as "dad" who was absent for 9yrs now needs to prove that he's out to save the day. Nevertheless, whatever happens from this point on, it's on dad's shoulders. The day my son walked out the door, the last thing I said to him was that he was welcome to come back to visit anytime he wanted. All he had to do was call ahead. And then I took the house key away from him. That was tough, but it was the only way he could come to the realization that I meant business. His bedroom furniture has been moved into the basement, and I set up his room as a guest room, with new furniture. The first time he came back to visit,he was in shock. He's even comment to his sister that "mom doesn't need him anymore" to which she responded, "she never did." And that's just it. I don't "need" his wild nights, coming home drunk, worrying about whether he's taking his ADHD medications, and scrambling for money to feed his drug habit lifestyle. I need peace, serenity and that's exactly what I'm working on. It is, and always will be a work in progress for me, as I struggle with detaching myself from this adult child. And it will come to you too. Stick around here, read other posts, and some day, you'll feel better. I know I did, and am eternally grateful. Prayers and hugs out to you. [/QUOTE]
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How do I go about getting my son to move out
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