It is nice to see you after so long, but i am sorry about the circumstances taht brought you back! I remember how hard things were when she was living with you. It is hard to say, but I doubt you will EVER have a healthy relationship with any of them. Severely limit contact if you cannot cut it. It is highly doubtful that the kids have much chance of having a different life. If CPS gets involved she MIGHT do what is needed to get them back but she might just have a few more to replace them. I have seen it happen in a girl I was close to utnil I was six. Like this girl, with a mentally ill parent, they are strongly disposed to having the problems that their mom has. So they truly many not be able to have the type of relationship you want. in my opinion the ODD might turn out to be the best thing. They COULD use that to say "mom won't let us bathe, I want to bathe three times a day - WITH SOAP!!" and the like WHEN THEY ARE OLDER. Right now? Do they know what baths are?
I do think calls to cps each time you see something, or tell your therapist and have her call each time. I guess they put mustard on the burn because they were out of butter and it is yellow like butter. IT is the ONLY reason I can think of. At least mustard is water based and wouldn't hold the heat in and make the burn so much worse the way butter would. That just has me astounded.
Cutting ties is the ONLY way to prevent the drama in your life. If you are in contact iwth her the drama is going to be there. But her tell you what you want to hear thing could work to help reduce your drama if you can take what she says at face value. I don't think you can. I couldn't. And you wouldn't be so worried if you could, Know what I mean??
She is NOT going to do anything about her kids even if she thinks they are difficult children. Well, she MIGHT change and start yelling more or hitting/spanking when they misbehave "because they are diong it on purpose", but mostly she is going to continue in her fantasy world.
Tell her what you need to say, but she may choose to cut contact if you say they have the problems she doesn't think she has. Or any problems. Regardless, she isn't going to take them anywhere for help or believe anyone who says they have problems. I wish it was different.
