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How do we all survive this?
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<blockquote data-quote="firehorsewoman" data-source="post: 536440"><p>Brilliant response Pigless. Honestly it is hard for me to read it...to see in black and white what I am living. We moved here six years ago to be near the ex's family after getting out of the military. My friends and sisters are scattered across the country. I have no parents to speak of (see post under water cooler.) The few friends that I have made here through work live over an hour away (Houston metro is HUGE) so I have little opportunity to see them. Having a difficult child is isolating. Being divorced is isolating. Being the child of a difficult child/addict molded my personality into one the prefers to be isolated yet safe. I tend not to reach out nor trust easily. I know all of these things compound my problem. </p><p>It is hard on me not having a local support system but I worry mostly about the affect it has on my children. I worry that seeing and hearing all the other important people in their lives say and do things that make me appear inferior or devalued as you say has got to have a negative affect on them. I hate that they don't see me with a support system and "fan club" like they see their dad. I have to remind them that I do have people that care about me but those people live far away. I can see the results of all of this and I work very hard to counteract the negative affects but there is only so much a person can do on their own. </p><p></p><p>I work out to relieve stress. I read to relieve stress. I also think it is important for the kids to see how I cope with exercise and reading.</p><p></p><p>Janet is right. You are a hero. So is RecoveringEnabler. I find all the women (sorry guys have not seen a post from a dad on here in a long time) on the site to be an inspiration. I am always amazed by the stories I read. I spent lots of time on here in 2006-07 but under a different screen name. During and right after the divorce I disappeared for obvious reasons. In 2010 I returned but found it hard to be here many days. I resented the time I was here. I didn't want difficult child and his issues to take over my life again like they did for several years. I wanted to pretend that difficult children issues were not a big deal. I preferred to waste my time on dating sites for awhile. I am over that phase now. I decided to check back in recently. I'm happy that I did.</p><p></p><p>thanks for all the replies and support</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="firehorsewoman, post: 536440"] Brilliant response Pigless. Honestly it is hard for me to read it...to see in black and white what I am living. We moved here six years ago to be near the ex's family after getting out of the military. My friends and sisters are scattered across the country. I have no parents to speak of (see post under water cooler.) The few friends that I have made here through work live over an hour away (Houston metro is HUGE) so I have little opportunity to see them. Having a difficult child is isolating. Being divorced is isolating. Being the child of a difficult child/addict molded my personality into one the prefers to be isolated yet safe. I tend not to reach out nor trust easily. I know all of these things compound my problem. It is hard on me not having a local support system but I worry mostly about the affect it has on my children. I worry that seeing and hearing all the other important people in their lives say and do things that make me appear inferior or devalued as you say has got to have a negative affect on them. I hate that they don't see me with a support system and "fan club" like they see their dad. I have to remind them that I do have people that care about me but those people live far away. I can see the results of all of this and I work very hard to counteract the negative affects but there is only so much a person can do on their own. I work out to relieve stress. I read to relieve stress. I also think it is important for the kids to see how I cope with exercise and reading. Janet is right. You are a hero. So is RecoveringEnabler. I find all the women (sorry guys have not seen a post from a dad on here in a long time) on the site to be an inspiration. I am always amazed by the stories I read. I spent lots of time on here in 2006-07 but under a different screen name. During and right after the divorce I disappeared for obvious reasons. In 2010 I returned but found it hard to be here many days. I resented the time I was here. I didn't want difficult child and his issues to take over my life again like they did for several years. I wanted to pretend that difficult children issues were not a big deal. I preferred to waste my time on dating sites for awhile. I am over that phase now. I decided to check back in recently. I'm happy that I did. thanks for all the replies and support [/QUOTE]
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