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How do you all handle Christmas?
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<blockquote data-quote="LauraH" data-source="post: 744863" data-attributes="member: 22877"><p>Christmases since I started dating my husband have been ultra simple. We exchanged gifts the first year or two, nothing lavish, and then we didn't actively decide not to, we just stopped doing it, because this is a financially hard time of year for my husband. We usually just hang out at home and then go to his brother's around three for the family gathering and dinner. It's usually pretty peaceful. This year was the first year that my son has been with us for Christmas since he moved to Chicago about three years ago. He came back (presumably to stay) right before Thanksgiving and we got off to a rocky start.....his ex in Chicago came down and they took a trip to Ft Myer (FL) where his family owns a couple of condos where they stayed. Of course drugs were involved and things got crazy between my son and the ex, and even after the ex had gone back to Chicago my son kept using. He even temporarily blocked me from Facebook and his life. I was dreading Christmas because if my son was with us things could go up in flames as we have a history of volatility, especially at a stressful time like the holidays. And if he was out of the picture, then I would not be in a celebratory mood and would probably be terrible company.</p><p></p><p>But things have slowly blown over and for the time being at least we are pretty much functioning as a loving parent and loving but sometimes disinterested adult son. Hey, it's peaceful with very little drama and chaos, so I'll take it! I've learned that it's best to be an observer of my son's life from the sidelines (other than when it has a direct impact on me or my husband or our home). If he wants to share something with me, he will. If he wants my advice, he'll ask for it. The last thing I wanted to do was give him money or something of value he could sell or trade for drugs, so I ended up getting him a month bus pas and personal items like socks, razors, and toothbrush. And a couple of candy bars to add a little festivity. He seemed pleased with everything, especially considering that just that morning he had asked my husband if he could borrow a pair of socks!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LauraH, post: 744863, member: 22877"] Christmases since I started dating my husband have been ultra simple. We exchanged gifts the first year or two, nothing lavish, and then we didn't actively decide not to, we just stopped doing it, because this is a financially hard time of year for my husband. We usually just hang out at home and then go to his brother's around three for the family gathering and dinner. It's usually pretty peaceful. This year was the first year that my son has been with us for Christmas since he moved to Chicago about three years ago. He came back (presumably to stay) right before Thanksgiving and we got off to a rocky start.....his ex in Chicago came down and they took a trip to Ft Myer (FL) where his family owns a couple of condos where they stayed. Of course drugs were involved and things got crazy between my son and the ex, and even after the ex had gone back to Chicago my son kept using. He even temporarily blocked me from Facebook and his life. I was dreading Christmas because if my son was with us things could go up in flames as we have a history of volatility, especially at a stressful time like the holidays. And if he was out of the picture, then I would not be in a celebratory mood and would probably be terrible company. But things have slowly blown over and for the time being at least we are pretty much functioning as a loving parent and loving but sometimes disinterested adult son. Hey, it's peaceful with very little drama and chaos, so I'll take it! I've learned that it's best to be an observer of my son's life from the sidelines (other than when it has a direct impact on me or my husband or our home). If he wants to share something with me, he will. If he wants my advice, he'll ask for it. The last thing I wanted to do was give him money or something of value he could sell or trade for drugs, so I ended up getting him a month bus pas and personal items like socks, razors, and toothbrush. And a couple of candy bars to add a little festivity. He seemed pleased with everything, especially considering that just that morning he had asked my husband if he could borrow a pair of socks! [/QUOTE]
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