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How do you cope?
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<blockquote data-quote="Concerned Mom &amp; Dad" data-source="post: 703182" data-attributes="member: 21063"><p>I just found this site yesterday and it is a lifeline. I have an 18 year old son who suffers from anxiety and depression. I described his issues in detail in a post yesterday. In the last year he has been in an outpatient program for suicide ideation, fired from his job and arrested for stealing cash from employer, caught shoplifting, fired from another job and, last week received a misdemeanor ticket for cannibas possession. On the good side, he did graduate high school and is seeing a therapist. After reading many of the posts on this forum, I see that many of you have been through much more with your kids. Unfortunately, my husband and I are still in the early stages of this journey and I believe it will get worse before it gets better. </p><p></p><p>The purpose of this post is a little selfish. I have been trying to reconcile how to cope personally with our situation. I feel constant stress. I retired recently which helps the overall stress level but I still feel like I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop. I understand the concept of detaichment but I still feel my son is a child developmentally and it doesn't feel right yet to stop protecting him. On the other hand, we have so little control. We have tried hard to get him into school, to steer him to a good job, productive activities etc but for the most part he chooses the opposite. We do not give him money and are conscious of not being enablers. So here are my questions:</p><p></p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">How and when do you stop seeing the little boy who once loved you and needed you and start seeing the man?</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">How do you deal with friends and relatives who try to be supportive but don't understand and who are maybe even be judgmental of your parenting. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">How do you cope with the feeling of failure, no matter how unreasonable that is?</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">When is it right to detach?</li> </ul><p>I see many of folks on this forum who have been suffering longer than I have and are still seeking the answers to these questions. I realize there are no easy solutions but would appreciate your wisdom.</p><p></p><p>Thanks</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Concerned Mom & Dad, post: 703182, member: 21063"] I just found this site yesterday and it is a lifeline. I have an 18 year old son who suffers from anxiety and depression. I described his issues in detail in a post yesterday. In the last year he has been in an outpatient program for suicide ideation, fired from his job and arrested for stealing cash from employer, caught shoplifting, fired from another job and, last week received a misdemeanor ticket for cannibas possession. On the good side, he did graduate high school and is seeing a therapist. After reading many of the posts on this forum, I see that many of you have been through much more with your kids. Unfortunately, my husband and I are still in the early stages of this journey and I believe it will get worse before it gets better. The purpose of this post is a little selfish. I have been trying to reconcile how to cope personally with our situation. I feel constant stress. I retired recently which helps the overall stress level but I still feel like I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop. I understand the concept of detaichment but I still feel my son is a child developmentally and it doesn't feel right yet to stop protecting him. On the other hand, we have so little control. We have tried hard to get him into school, to steer him to a good job, productive activities etc but for the most part he chooses the opposite. We do not give him money and are conscious of not being enablers. So here are my questions: [LIST] [*]How and when do you stop seeing the little boy who once loved you and needed you and start seeing the man? [*]How do you deal with friends and relatives who try to be supportive but don't understand and who are maybe even be judgmental of your parenting. [*]How do you cope with the feeling of failure, no matter how unreasonable that is? [*]When is it right to detach? [/LIST] I see many of folks on this forum who have been suffering longer than I have and are still seeking the answers to these questions. I realize there are no easy solutions but would appreciate your wisdom. Thanks [/QUOTE]
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