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<blockquote data-quote="MommaTried24" data-source="post: 765440" data-attributes="member: 33205">Beta, I too have a 28 year old angry son that I've not seen in almost 4 years. In the beginning, the drama and the years of endured disrespect made it a relief to finally have peace under my own roof. The final straw was when he actually hit me with his fist. That completely broke my heart and it's been a lot of mixed emotions ever since. I understand your grief. It's a grief unlike death to me. It's an ongoing grief of someone you love that seemingly doesn't love you back. Someone you've given your all to that has zero gratitude. It's like the person you knew and raised them to be has died but yet they are still alive. There is no closure.I struggle with depression a lot but I have to say Alanon helped me have a program and be around others who were enduring similar situations. This website has been helping me so much lately and working full time helps me too. I do randomly keep tabs on him through the internet. I see nothing has changed in that he's still in and out of jail. My motto with the situation now is, &quot;No news is good news&quot;. Also, &quot;Ignorance is bliss&quot; and &quot;What I don't know won't hurt me&quot;.There are so many things my son could be doing to better his life and himself but he chooses not to. His choices, his consequences. I pray someday God will put someone in his path to make him see there is a better way. I've learned that person isn't and cannot be his mother. I've always told him to never be too proud to say you're sorry. Until that day comes and there is real change and accountability, I'd rather not hop back on that roller coaster with him. The constant stress of being in his life was literally killing me. If I don't take care of myself then who will? Our children are not ours to keep. We must let them go and hope they will come full circle someday and want a normal, loving relationship with us. This is my only child. I'm glad you have another child who is doing well. I would focus on that and let it give you strength to endure. Sending you hugs!</blockquote>

[QUOTE="MommaTried24, post: 765440, member: 33205"] Beta, I too have a 28 year old angry son that I've not seen in almost 4 years. In the beginning, the drama and the years of endured disrespect made it a relief to finally have peace under my own roof. The final straw was when he actually hit me with his fist. That completely broke my heart and it's been a lot of mixed emotions ever since. I understand your grief. It's a grief unlike death to me. It's an ongoing grief of someone you love that seemingly doesn't love you back. Someone you've given your all to that has zero gratitude. It's like the person you knew and raised them to be has died but yet they are still alive. There is no closure. I struggle with depression a lot but I have to say Alanon helped me have a program and be around others who were enduring similar situations. This website has been helping me so much lately and working full time helps me too. I do randomly keep tabs on him through the internet. I see nothing has changed in that he's still in and out of jail. My motto with the situation now is, "No news is good news". Also, "Ignorance is bliss" and "What I don't know won't hurt me". There are so many things my son could be doing to better his life and himself but he chooses not to. His choices, his consequences. I pray someday God will put someone in his path to make him see there is a better way. I've learned that person isn't and cannot be his mother. I've always told him to never be too proud to say you're sorry. Until that day comes and there is real change and accountability, I'd rather not hop back on that roller coaster with him. The constant stress of being in his life was literally killing me. If I don't take care of myself then who will? Our children are not ours to keep. We must let them go and hope they will come full circle someday and want a normal, loving relationship with us. This is my only child. I'm glad you have another child who is doing well. I would focus on that and let it give you strength to endure. Sending you hugs! [/QUOTE]

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