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How do you cope?
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 765451" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Yes, yes, yes! You nailed it exactly. </p><p>First of all, I want to say how sorry I am for what you have experienced with your son. Having a child physically assault a parent is way beyond the pale of anything a parent should experience and is something that would break the heart of every one of us. My husband and I have endured verbal abuse, and that has been traumatizing enough, so I can only imagine the emotions you have dealt with. The thing that makes it so hard I think is that you remember who they once were and you love that person still, but you have to deal with the person they have become, who bears little resemblance to their former selves. So there's a mixture of love and dislike, anger, hurt, grief...it's hard to sort it all out at times. I want to detach emotionally but there's a part of me that seems resistant to doing that. </p><p>I like your three mottos you use by the way. I will remember those for myself. </p><p></p><p>By the way, I just updated my profile info. Our son is now 34 yo. I found this site in 2017, when he was 27 yo and things were really unraveling in his life. </p><p></p><p>We didn't hear from him from August 2023 to December 2023, which was five months of silence. During those times, I called the Phoenix police department and filed a missing persons report at least twice. He was caught shoplifting a couple of times and the police officer notified him that there was a missing persons report out on him; offered to get him help with his addiction; and one officer even offered to allow him to use his phone to call us. He declined. </p><p></p><p>He has now been silent for three months. A month ago, after filing another report, he was caught shoplifting and again was told we were looking for him, offered help with the addiction, and encouraged to get in touch with us. We have yet to hear anything. So, I have to face the fact that either he doesn't want anything to do with us or his mind is too messed up to even manage to message us on Facebook as he has in the past. I hope and pray every day that we will hear from him, and we may, but I also am trying to resign myself to the possibility that we may not hear from him again. That's really hard to deal with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 765451, member: 22597"] Yes, yes, yes! You nailed it exactly. First of all, I want to say how sorry I am for what you have experienced with your son. Having a child physically assault a parent is way beyond the pale of anything a parent should experience and is something that would break the heart of every one of us. My husband and I have endured verbal abuse, and that has been traumatizing enough, so I can only imagine the emotions you have dealt with. The thing that makes it so hard I think is that you remember who they once were and you love that person still, but you have to deal with the person they have become, who bears little resemblance to their former selves. So there's a mixture of love and dislike, anger, hurt, grief...it's hard to sort it all out at times. I want to detach emotionally but there's a part of me that seems resistant to doing that. I like your three mottos you use by the way. I will remember those for myself. By the way, I just updated my profile info. Our son is now 34 yo. I found this site in 2017, when he was 27 yo and things were really unraveling in his life. We didn't hear from him from August 2023 to December 2023, which was five months of silence. During those times, I called the Phoenix police department and filed a missing persons report at least twice. He was caught shoplifting a couple of times and the police officer notified him that there was a missing persons report out on him; offered to get him help with his addiction; and one officer even offered to allow him to use his phone to call us. He declined. He has now been silent for three months. A month ago, after filing another report, he was caught shoplifting and again was told we were looking for him, offered help with the addiction, and encouraged to get in touch with us. We have yet to hear anything. So, I have to face the fact that either he doesn't want anything to do with us or his mind is too messed up to even manage to message us on Facebook as he has in the past. I hope and pray every day that we will hear from him, and we may, but I also am trying to resign myself to the possibility that we may not hear from him again. That's really hard to deal with. [/QUOTE]
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