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how often do you talk to your difficult "child" now adult?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 715261" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Girls/females communicate more verbally than boys/males do. This is a generality, of course, but is something I remember from both psychology and marketing classes. </p><p></p><p>I do remember my brother, at age 18, not speaking to my parents for days or weeks on end if he could get away with it. Just not being home when they were. Of course he did this at 16 also (graduated high school at 16). When he did speak to them, he argued at the top of his lungs. At that age, volume means you win, doesn't it?</p><p></p><p>Are you paying Ferb's way? If so, you have the right to some basic communication. My mom insisted on certain meals as a family, and knowing that he was home each night, and some other things. If his phone is on your dime, a regular call or text is not too much too ask. </p><p></p><p>I do not know if Ferb has any autistic traits or not, but I think many people don't always get social skills without them being explained. You might explain to him that a phone call lasting 3 min or whatever time you feel is acceptable is not to much to ask seeing as you gave birth to him, labor of how many hours, how many parent teacher conferences, how many video games, etc.... All you want to know is how he is doing, is he happy, what is going on in his life, share your life with him. Ask him why this is something outrageous and listen if he gives you an answer. Then discuss it with him and find a compromise. But at 18, I think we don't see or moms as people who need that contact, or who are interested in us. For some kids, they are robots who are there to cook, clean and serve the kids, not people who want to connect to us as adults. They have out lived their usefulness - several people in my dorm spoke of parents like this and it shocked and saddened me even at 17 when I went to college. I called my parents constantly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 715261, member: 1233"] Girls/females communicate more verbally than boys/males do. This is a generality, of course, but is something I remember from both psychology and marketing classes. I do remember my brother, at age 18, not speaking to my parents for days or weeks on end if he could get away with it. Just not being home when they were. Of course he did this at 16 also (graduated high school at 16). When he did speak to them, he argued at the top of his lungs. At that age, volume means you win, doesn't it? Are you paying Ferb's way? If so, you have the right to some basic communication. My mom insisted on certain meals as a family, and knowing that he was home each night, and some other things. If his phone is on your dime, a regular call or text is not too much too ask. I do not know if Ferb has any autistic traits or not, but I think many people don't always get social skills without them being explained. You might explain to him that a phone call lasting 3 min or whatever time you feel is acceptable is not to much to ask seeing as you gave birth to him, labor of how many hours, how many parent teacher conferences, how many video games, etc.... All you want to know is how he is doing, is he happy, what is going on in his life, share your life with him. Ask him why this is something outrageous and listen if he gives you an answer. Then discuss it with him and find a compromise. But at 18, I think we don't see or moms as people who need that contact, or who are interested in us. For some kids, they are robots who are there to cook, clean and serve the kids, not people who want to connect to us as adults. They have out lived their usefulness - several people in my dorm spoke of parents like this and it shocked and saddened me even at 17 when I went to college. I called my parents constantly. [/QUOTE]
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how often do you talk to your difficult "child" now adult?
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