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Parent Emeritus
how often do you talk to your difficult "child" now adult?
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<blockquote data-quote="OTE" data-source="post: 738445"><p>Hi! Long time! But I do have experience in this arena.</p><p></p><p>My policy is to let them initiate contact unless I have some specific concern or need. Generally I hear from both my older two about once a week. I listen to what they tell me and try to only respond if they ask me to. If they don't ask my opinion I keep it to myself. If they're doing something harmful eg quitting a good job to be jobless over something trivial I try to point out the obvious outcome. Not what they want to hear mostly but occasionally I get through and prevent the result. There are some sore points I can't touch eg girlfriends doing wrong. Those are tough listening to. But if I want the lines of communication open... </p><p></p><p>I figure that there's never been a parent with an independent child who didn't have to do this juggling. And I know from my experience with my mother that I want long term communication so I have to figure out a way. Haven't had meaningful communication with my mother in 20+ years or any at all in a few now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OTE, post: 738445"] Hi! Long time! But I do have experience in this arena. My policy is to let them initiate contact unless I have some specific concern or need. Generally I hear from both my older two about once a week. I listen to what they tell me and try to only respond if they ask me to. If they don't ask my opinion I keep it to myself. If they're doing something harmful eg quitting a good job to be jobless over something trivial I try to point out the obvious outcome. Not what they want to hear mostly but occasionally I get through and prevent the result. There are some sore points I can't touch eg girlfriends doing wrong. Those are tough listening to. But if I want the lines of communication open... I figure that there's never been a parent with an independent child who didn't have to do this juggling. And I know from my experience with my mother that I want long term communication so I have to figure out a way. Haven't had meaningful communication with my mother in 20+ years or any at all in a few now. [/QUOTE]
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how often do you talk to your difficult "child" now adult?
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