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How to cope after crisis with your child?
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekinghopeNZ" data-source="post: 765285" data-attributes="member: 33245"><p>The tortured thinking is hard to lay down but I realize I have to get very deliberate and intentional with that. So I say to myself, "You are in a loop here and the thoughts are going round and round so it's time to do something to break the circuit". For me breaking the circuit is prayer, pottery making, gardening, and walking. Listening to music or sometimes looking at something funny online - anything that can make me feel good in that moment. Talking about things also helps me to process but it can also consume so much time and thinking that it dominates. So I will also say "No more talking about this for a while, it's taking up too much of my emotional time". I have had to look around me and see the relationships that have become neglected, prioritize them and do what I can to protect the relationships that are not dysfunctional. I have come to realize that happiness has to be found in small little moments, like stroking the cat or treating myself to something nice that is just for me. I agree that building up strength is important between crises, and this forum has helped me to understand the value of detachment and to try and make peace with it. Detachment also helps to give us a liferaft through the storms. I go back and reread the concepts and It affirms me when I feel doubts and I am torn. I have also come to see that I am in a grief process. So much grief! In that way I try to be kind to myself, know that I am grieving and that at some point I need to heal from the grieving with God's help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekinghopeNZ, post: 765285, member: 33245"] The tortured thinking is hard to lay down but I realize I have to get very deliberate and intentional with that. So I say to myself, "You are in a loop here and the thoughts are going round and round so it's time to do something to break the circuit". For me breaking the circuit is prayer, pottery making, gardening, and walking. Listening to music or sometimes looking at something funny online - anything that can make me feel good in that moment. Talking about things also helps me to process but it can also consume so much time and thinking that it dominates. So I will also say "No more talking about this for a while, it's taking up too much of my emotional time". I have had to look around me and see the relationships that have become neglected, prioritize them and do what I can to protect the relationships that are not dysfunctional. I have come to realize that happiness has to be found in small little moments, like stroking the cat or treating myself to something nice that is just for me. I agree that building up strength is important between crises, and this forum has helped me to understand the value of detachment and to try and make peace with it. Detachment also helps to give us a liferaft through the storms. I go back and reread the concepts and It affirms me when I feel doubts and I am torn. I have also come to see that I am in a grief process. So much grief! In that way I try to be kind to myself, know that I am grieving and that at some point I need to heal from the grieving with God's help. [/QUOTE]
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