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Parent Emeritus
How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 622051" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Can you consult an attorney to find out what your rights as grandparents are in your state? Seems that the focus on getting her stable should be shifted to what is best for the kids. Now that you've come to the difficult decision to be willing to raise your grandchildren, it seems that they are the ones that deserve your attention and getting their mother OUT of the picture for all of you would appear to be the logical step. Trying to get someone who is not interested in getting help, help, is an act of futility. Plus you will spend the next 2 years aging rapidly with all of the stress. </p><p></p><p>This is the choice I had to face at a certain point when my granddaughter was 11 and it became painfully obvious that she was not being cared for. I had to choose my granddaughter over my daughter. I called CPS. That is not a choice I would wish on anyone, but it was the ONLY choice. If you've made the choice to raise the grandkids, then consult a professional, find out your options. You may need to remove her to a shelter with the kids so that you can then maneuver the kids out of her care. She will undoubtedly put them at risk and then you can legally move in. I am not sure of all of that, which is why I would consult an attorney well versed in guardianship, custody, grandparent rights. </p><p></p><p>You said in an earlier post you had no trouble "kicking her to the curb." I think the kicking part has arrived. You are done, as COM said. Take action to remove her however you have to do that. Find out what your rights are and how you can protect the kids. And, geez, I so wish you strength, courage and some peace.............and that you find some excellent guidance to show you the way..............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 622051, member: 13542"] Can you consult an attorney to find out what your rights as grandparents are in your state? Seems that the focus on getting her stable should be shifted to what is best for the kids. Now that you've come to the difficult decision to be willing to raise your grandchildren, it seems that they are the ones that deserve your attention and getting their mother OUT of the picture for all of you would appear to be the logical step. Trying to get someone who is not interested in getting help, help, is an act of futility. Plus you will spend the next 2 years aging rapidly with all of the stress. This is the choice I had to face at a certain point when my granddaughter was 11 and it became painfully obvious that she was not being cared for. I had to choose my granddaughter over my daughter. I called CPS. That is not a choice I would wish on anyone, but it was the ONLY choice. If you've made the choice to raise the grandkids, then consult a professional, find out your options. You may need to remove her to a shelter with the kids so that you can then maneuver the kids out of her care. She will undoubtedly put them at risk and then you can legally move in. I am not sure of all of that, which is why I would consult an attorney well versed in guardianship, custody, grandparent rights. You said in an earlier post you had no trouble "kicking her to the curb." I think the kicking part has arrived. You are done, as COM said. Take action to remove her however you have to do that. Find out what your rights are and how you can protect the kids. And, geez, I so wish you strength, courage and some peace.............and that you find some excellent guidance to show you the way.............. [/QUOTE]
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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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