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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 632906" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>End, keep going to the Al-anon meetings. One reason people go for the rest of their lives is the tremendous joy, peace and serenity the program brings them in all areas of their lives, way beyond their difficult children. I have been going regularly for four years and I honestly do believe I will go for the rest of my life. Right now I go to one meeting a week, sometimes two, and when I am in crisis I go every single day until I get back up on level ground. It's like an instant tonic. It is amazing. </p><p></p><p>Also people go to be of service to other people, sharing their experience, strength and hope. On any given day, someone, at least one person, will say something that will really resonate with you when they share. Over time, you will say things that really resonate with them---even from the first time you share---and you will help other people.</p><p></p><p>How as NAMI the other night? </p><p></p><p>I am a Type A personality. I am a get it done person. I own my own business and I have fully supported myself with a good income for the past 7 years. I am a controller, manager and fixer in the business side of my life. I can make things happen! I do. </p><p></p><p>With addiction, I have to bring a wholly different skill set to the mix---one I frankly did not have. I have built one over the past four years, though. I now can accept---most of the time---what living with uncertainty means (an idea I initially HATED) and how freeing it is and can be to live into that notion. </p><p></p><p>It is not easy. This is not for the faint-hearted. You can do this. You are demonstrating a persistence that I can really identify with. Turn that persistence onto YOURSELF---instead of your daughter---and start learning a whole new skill set. </p><p></p><p>Go to meetings. Read the literature (buy it and read it every day), post here, spend time in silence, start some practices that calm and center you---whatever they are.</p><p></p><p>I'm like you---I cannot do mental work when I'm in a tizzy over difficult child. I have to do physical things. I also have to cry and rant and be sad and whatever I am feeling. As a man, I don't know if you're comfortable with "feeling your feelings" (lol) but start doing it. You will be much calmer inside over time if you do.</p><p></p><p>I like myself so much better today than I did four years ago. That is the fruit of working a 12-step program. It is so wonderfully amazing.</p><p></p><p>Keep going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 632906, member: 17542"] End, keep going to the Al-anon meetings. One reason people go for the rest of their lives is the tremendous joy, peace and serenity the program brings them in all areas of their lives, way beyond their difficult children. I have been going regularly for four years and I honestly do believe I will go for the rest of my life. Right now I go to one meeting a week, sometimes two, and when I am in crisis I go every single day until I get back up on level ground. It's like an instant tonic. It is amazing. Also people go to be of service to other people, sharing their experience, strength and hope. On any given day, someone, at least one person, will say something that will really resonate with you when they share. Over time, you will say things that really resonate with them---even from the first time you share---and you will help other people. How as NAMI the other night? I am a Type A personality. I am a get it done person. I own my own business and I have fully supported myself with a good income for the past 7 years. I am a controller, manager and fixer in the business side of my life. I can make things happen! I do. With addiction, I have to bring a wholly different skill set to the mix---one I frankly did not have. I have built one over the past four years, though. I now can accept---most of the time---what living with uncertainty means (an idea I initially HATED) and how freeing it is and can be to live into that notion. It is not easy. This is not for the faint-hearted. You can do this. You are demonstrating a persistence that I can really identify with. Turn that persistence onto YOURSELF---instead of your daughter---and start learning a whole new skill set. Go to meetings. Read the literature (buy it and read it every day), post here, spend time in silence, start some practices that calm and center you---whatever they are. I'm like you---I cannot do mental work when I'm in a tizzy over difficult child. I have to do physical things. I also have to cry and rant and be sad and whatever I am feeling. As a man, I don't know if you're comfortable with "feeling your feelings" (lol) but start doing it. You will be much calmer inside over time if you do. I like myself so much better today than I did four years ago. That is the fruit of working a 12-step program. It is so wonderfully amazing. Keep going. [/QUOTE]
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