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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 632933" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!</p><p></p><p>So, where I was going with all this is that our difficult child kids do seem to respond more positively to the detachment theory of parenting. Detachment parenting is not a way to justify turning a child out or turning him away.</p><p></p><p>More than anything else, detached parents not only feel better about themselves, but the difficult child, whose usual games and power plays are, for some reason forever unfathomable to them, no longer working, actually starts to hear what we are saying. They do not like what they hear. We don't often like what we force ourselves to say.</p><p></p><p>But putting responsibility squarely where it belongs is the only sure way to change our situations.</p><p></p><p>You will come to it too I think, EOOR.</p><p></p><p>It took me years. I felt so bad for the kids that I couldn't not help them. I just kept plugging along here on the site, trying to figure out how to survive it.</p><p></p><p>And then one day a mom using detachment theory reported some limited success. A few days layer, someone else had some success.</p><p></p><p>I was on that detachment bandwagon</p><p>the next day. </p><p></p><p>I am still there. </p><p></p><p>I think it's the right thing. </p><p></p><p>It didn't solve anything to start being honest with my kids, to start saying no more money. </p><p></p><p>But it gave my husband and me our self respect back.</p><p></p><p>Stay with us, read and post. There are answers...they are seldom the ones we want to hear.</p><p></p><p>Here is a question for you, EOOR. If your child continues to use her physical or emotional state to justify unethical behavior. ..who is going to help her, and what is going to happen to her, once you are gone?</p><p></p><p>Oh hallelujah everyone. </p><p></p><p>I have reached the end of this post. </p><p></p><p>:0)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 632933, member: 17461"] OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! So, where I was going with all this is that our difficult child kids do seem to respond more positively to the detachment theory of parenting. Detachment parenting is not a way to justify turning a child out or turning him away. More than anything else, detached parents not only feel better about themselves, but the difficult child, whose usual games and power plays are, for some reason forever unfathomable to them, no longer working, actually starts to hear what we are saying. They do not like what they hear. We don't often like what we force ourselves to say. But putting responsibility squarely where it belongs is the only sure way to change our situations. You will come to it too I think, EOOR. It took me years. I felt so bad for the kids that I couldn't not help them. I just kept plugging along here on the site, trying to figure out how to survive it. And then one day a mom using detachment theory reported some limited success. A few days layer, someone else had some success. I was on that detachment bandwagon the next day. I am still there. I think it's the right thing. It didn't solve anything to start being honest with my kids, to start saying no more money. But it gave my husband and me our self respect back. Stay with us, read and post. There are answers...they are seldom the ones we want to hear. Here is a question for you, EOOR. If your child continues to use her physical or emotional state to justify unethical behavior. ..who is going to help her, and what is going to happen to her, once you are gone? Oh hallelujah everyone. I have reached the end of this post. :0) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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