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Parent Emeritus
How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638664" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You aren't compromising your values. None of us are. We are just accepting that we can't change another person or that person's values and moving on because we know that. Your values are diffrent than your daughter's values. You don't have to like her values, but you can't spend your whole life trying to change hers because it doesn't work.</p><p></p><p>I actually find this logical and my old way of thinking illogical. What do your wife and you fight over? She is focusing on the grandkids, who are innocent. To me, as a mom, it makes sense...so sorry this has been hard for you. It is hard for all of us, trust me. None of us like to see our grown children acting in ways that are so alien to our ways of thinking. Yet none of us can make it any different.</p><p></p><p>It is what it is. This actually applies to every aspect of our lives. We can not change what happens to us, what others who are not in our family do, certain things that happen at work, getting sicknesses...we have to accept what we can't change. Or we can choose the insanity of fighting something we can not change. It's like trying to force nature to give us a nice day when it is raining. It can't be done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638664, member: 1550"] You aren't compromising your values. None of us are. We are just accepting that we can't change another person or that person's values and moving on because we know that. Your values are diffrent than your daughter's values. You don't have to like her values, but you can't spend your whole life trying to change hers because it doesn't work. I actually find this logical and my old way of thinking illogical. What do your wife and you fight over? She is focusing on the grandkids, who are innocent. To me, as a mom, it makes sense...so sorry this has been hard for you. It is hard for all of us, trust me. None of us like to see our grown children acting in ways that are so alien to our ways of thinking. Yet none of us can make it any different. It is what it is. This actually applies to every aspect of our lives. We can not change what happens to us, what others who are not in our family do, certain things that happen at work, getting sicknesses...we have to accept what we can't change. Or we can choose the insanity of fighting something we can not change. It's like trying to force nature to give us a nice day when it is raining. It can't be done. [/QUOTE]
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How to detach when grandkids are involved.
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