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How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 656767" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You're doing a good job Copa. It's a tough journey. </p><p></p><p>A turning point for me was realizing I did not have to respond. I thought I did. I was reading a number of books by Pema Chodron at the time, in particular, Living with uncertainty, where she talks about "refraining." I began doing that with my daughter. Whereas before, I was sort of spring-loaded to have a response, helping, offering guidance, jumping in in some manner........isn't that what a mother is supposed to do? </p><p></p><p>It was uncomfortable to <em>not</em> respond. That empty space in between being confronted with a problem or an inquiry or a strange statement......was weird.... I so wanted to jump in there. But, it made sense to me to practice this. Without my responses, my daughter had nothing to fight against, that neutrality in the air was different for her as well as me. The script had changed. In the empty space between us, we were both freed up to respond in a different way. And, it was a practice, I did not master this right away. It took time to break the patterning. </p><p></p><p>I believe when we back out of the dialogue, when we are refraining, the energy changes......the silence allows something different to evolve.......new thinking has an opportunity to grow.......</p><p> </p><p>Hang in there. We've all been where you are now.......we're here for you. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 656767, member: 13542"] You're doing a good job Copa. It's a tough journey. A turning point for me was realizing I did not have to respond. I thought I did. I was reading a number of books by Pema Chodron at the time, in particular, Living with uncertainty, where she talks about "refraining." I began doing that with my daughter. Whereas before, I was sort of spring-loaded to have a response, helping, offering guidance, jumping in in some manner........isn't that what a mother is supposed to do? It was uncomfortable to [I]not[/I] respond. That empty space in between being confronted with a problem or an inquiry or a strange statement......was weird.... I so wanted to jump in there. But, it made sense to me to practice this. Without my responses, my daughter had nothing to fight against, that neutrality in the air was different for her as well as me. The script had changed. In the empty space between us, we were both freed up to respond in a different way. And, it was a practice, I did not master this right away. It took time to break the patterning. I believe when we back out of the dialogue, when we are refraining, the energy changes......the silence allows something different to evolve.......new thinking has an opportunity to grow....... Hang in there. We've all been where you are now.......we're here for you. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
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How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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