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Parent Emeritus
How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 657947" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Copa,</p><p></p><p>you are being wonderfully strong. You are staying open to your own heart, to your own love for your son, to your fears. You are staying open...I can feel it in your posts. That is the hardest place, but the place of best learning.</p><p></p><p>My son is mentally ill too, Copa. He is the sweetest sweetest boy. But he is on the autism spectrum and has a disabling inability to interact socially or read cues, and he is bipolar and when he is manic it is a sight to behold. He is much better on medications. But he won't take them. </p><p></p><p>So I know your fear and confusion around...what do I do? I can't abandon a sick person, my sick son, can I? I don't want to, I can't, and even if I did want to it would be wrong, right?</p><p></p><p>SWOT writes a lot about this, since she suffers from some mental illness too. I am bipolar, or at least dysthymic, and I've wrought destruction in the past in my manic phases...spent too much money, endangered my health and life, hurt and betrayed people who loved me. In the end...I am responsible for these things. So is my son. And if he cannot see, in his illness, that he needs medications...the cold hard hardest fact is that there is nothing, nothing, that you or I can do about it.</p><p></p><p>I have cut off communications with him from time to time, to save myself. I've gone a few months hearing nothing. RIght now it is better for me to stay in touch (conveniently he is in jail and on medications and clean, which is his best self). The targets move. Our reactions move. OUr hormones move. The moon moves and how we cope changes.</p><p></p><p>But I do know that posting on the board helps move us forward, to a healthier way of living. I can see that you are doing that...it is slow, and it is two steps forward and 2.5 back...but...you are better. You will be better still. You can find a place where you love your son and live your own life. I believe that.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 657947, member: 17269"] Copa, you are being wonderfully strong. You are staying open to your own heart, to your own love for your son, to your fears. You are staying open...I can feel it in your posts. That is the hardest place, but the place of best learning. My son is mentally ill too, Copa. He is the sweetest sweetest boy. But he is on the autism spectrum and has a disabling inability to interact socially or read cues, and he is bipolar and when he is manic it is a sight to behold. He is much better on medications. But he won't take them. So I know your fear and confusion around...what do I do? I can't abandon a sick person, my sick son, can I? I don't want to, I can't, and even if I did want to it would be wrong, right? SWOT writes a lot about this, since she suffers from some mental illness too. I am bipolar, or at least dysthymic, and I've wrought destruction in the past in my manic phases...spent too much money, endangered my health and life, hurt and betrayed people who loved me. In the end...I am responsible for these things. So is my son. And if he cannot see, in his illness, that he needs medications...the cold hard hardest fact is that there is nothing, nothing, that you or I can do about it. I have cut off communications with him from time to time, to save myself. I've gone a few months hearing nothing. RIght now it is better for me to stay in touch (conveniently he is in jail and on medications and clean, which is his best self). The targets move. Our reactions move. OUr hormones move. The moon moves and how we cope changes. But I do know that posting on the board helps move us forward, to a healthier way of living. I can see that you are doing that...it is slow, and it is two steps forward and 2.5 back...but...you are better. You will be better still. You can find a place where you love your son and live your own life. I believe that. Echo [/QUOTE]
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How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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