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Parent Emeritus
How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 659499" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I'm sorry, I know how much this hurts. </p><p></p><p>But, I have to disagree that this puts him in control. You asserted your boundaries, and he reacted - childishly. He's punishing you for asserting yourself - and that's pretty typical, unfortunately. This is hard stuff, and painful I know -- but it's how it goes when we begin to stand up for ourselves. They don't like it one bit. To me, that means.. it worked. </p><p></p><p>You're still in full control, in my opinion. If he unblocked you and reached out, but disrespected you, wouldn't you still say STOP? It's not a power struggle.. it's you respecting yourself, since he won't. Don't give him that power over you. </p><p></p><p>It doesn't mean it will be that way forever .. it just means it's that way for right now. And in a way, that's not a bad thing -- use this time to focus on yourself, to grieve the relationship you want but can't have right now, and gain strength. Try not to torture yourself by checking up on him (I know the temptation is strong!). Go to some al-anon meetings, see a therapist, do something you love to do. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 659499, member: 1157"] I'm sorry, I know how much this hurts. But, I have to disagree that this puts him in control. You asserted your boundaries, and he reacted - childishly. He's punishing you for asserting yourself - and that's pretty typical, unfortunately. This is hard stuff, and painful I know -- but it's how it goes when we begin to stand up for ourselves. They don't like it one bit. To me, that means.. it worked. You're still in full control, in my opinion. If he unblocked you and reached out, but disrespected you, wouldn't you still say STOP? It's not a power struggle.. it's you respecting yourself, since he won't. Don't give him that power over you. It doesn't mean it will be that way forever .. it just means it's that way for right now. And in a way, that's not a bad thing -- use this time to focus on yourself, to grieve the relationship you want but can't have right now, and gain strength. Try not to torture yourself by checking up on him (I know the temptation is strong!). Go to some al-anon meetings, see a therapist, do something you love to do. Hang in there... [/QUOTE]
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How to even talk on the phone with my son....
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