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<blockquote data-quote="rivergrammy" data-source="post: 748771" data-attributes="member: 23973"><p>hello, your experience really touched my heart, and I hope you continue to be the sensitive engaged source of enrichment for that precious individual, your grandchild, because he really needs you; and every single person that ignores the red flags you are seeing, and make no doubt, they are clear and certain red flags, and every person who encourages YOU to ignore what is clearly a secretive distress and secretive torment that sweet kid is experiencing, is culpable if there is more to the story. everyone is outraged by child abuse , yet it happens on a huge, enormous, mind blowing scale and by nature HAS to happen, right under trusted caregivers noses. How? and i'm talking about a reality; the sneaky mental and emotional things said and done, covert, and WHISPERED under threat of Harm, type of hidden meaness, not just the more obvious physical harms..that emit RED FLAGS, and who else is going to be aware of them waving, who else would know the DIFFERENCE in the child.. that sad whimpering behavior, that fear and misery YOU WITNESSED are the RED FLAGS, and you are not like a lot of people i can tell by your focus; and even diplomacy in spite of the concerns. what bothers me is how many folks suggest you not offend the other aduts, tell you to respect the other adults, and that wouldnt be a problem but the other adults want you to accept the weirdness and red flags, right? no one else, no employee of a (very disturbing perpetrator filled) government agency, no physician, loves and cares nor is in a better position to notice and protect a child, than you are. and all kids live surrounded by adults that should be paying attention, some do notice red flags, but even then they shirk responsibility, and in a flash it goes from bad to worse, the child is a goner in the system, all the child's sense of self and entire family destroyed. when what needed to happen was tactful, cautious, active care, a stepping up of ''concerned'' adults, kids need a kind intelligent role model, comfort to the child, nonintrusively to the parents, by non covertly abusive adults, that do as you do, continue to give the child healthy messages; that they are honest, they are valid, their experience making them feel so bad is not what they deserve, by showing them different, not even having to say it out loud; your time of joyful togetherness tells them that they are valuable, worth SEEING with open eyes, in every sense, in every situation. there are huge indications of more problems than ''what's for dinner'' .. the other red flag is you can't speak up, as diplomatic as you apparently are, rationally and lovingly, about a child's well being, which should be everyone's concern, that is a real signal the other caregiver responsible for the child doesnt want to know or doesnt want you to know what they do. no one, not really,in my opinion, no matter how kind otherwise, has your grandson's well being in focus. minimizing, shutting you down..crimson flag. more esp, since that is not normal behavior typical for that adult. this post is a few months old, but i read it and responses and my concerns kept rising, so i hope this doesnt come across too strong. you were being redirected, and invalidated from your core issue, in my opinion. expected to to do as suggested, turn a blind eye, convince yourself it's none of your business, just like every other so called friend or family member of every one of those ''other'' kids. always its the others.. slick people count on that from ''good'' people; they get the ''respect'' of their ''privacy'' in spite of red flags all over the place, that the children are being impacted. Impacted. You know more than ANYONE who this child is, and what is normal, and anyone with an iota of compassion would say that this is not, and you are not being intrusive, you are not being nosy or inappropriate, that's just ignorant, in my opinion... from one grandparent to another, i'd say walk softly but keep your focus on that child's well being, and truth will come out soon i hope, but YOU ARE IT. love is an action word, bless you all. A.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rivergrammy, post: 748771, member: 23973"] hello, your experience really touched my heart, and I hope you continue to be the sensitive engaged source of enrichment for that precious individual, your grandchild, because he really needs you; and every single person that ignores the red flags you are seeing, and make no doubt, they are clear and certain red flags, and every person who encourages YOU to ignore what is clearly a secretive distress and secretive torment that sweet kid is experiencing, is culpable if there is more to the story. everyone is outraged by child abuse , yet it happens on a huge, enormous, mind blowing scale and by nature HAS to happen, right under trusted caregivers noses. How? and i'm talking about a reality; the sneaky mental and emotional things said and done, covert, and WHISPERED under threat of Harm, type of hidden meaness, not just the more obvious physical harms..that emit RED FLAGS, and who else is going to be aware of them waving, who else would know the DIFFERENCE in the child.. that sad whimpering behavior, that fear and misery YOU WITNESSED are the RED FLAGS, and you are not like a lot of people i can tell by your focus; and even diplomacy in spite of the concerns. what bothers me is how many folks suggest you not offend the other aduts, tell you to respect the other adults, and that wouldnt be a problem but the other adults want you to accept the weirdness and red flags, right? no one else, no employee of a (very disturbing perpetrator filled) government agency, no physician, loves and cares nor is in a better position to notice and protect a child, than you are. and all kids live surrounded by adults that should be paying attention, some do notice red flags, but even then they shirk responsibility, and in a flash it goes from bad to worse, the child is a goner in the system, all the child's sense of self and entire family destroyed. when what needed to happen was tactful, cautious, active care, a stepping up of ''concerned'' adults, kids need a kind intelligent role model, comfort to the child, nonintrusively to the parents, by non covertly abusive adults, that do as you do, continue to give the child healthy messages; that they are honest, they are valid, their experience making them feel so bad is not what they deserve, by showing them different, not even having to say it out loud; your time of joyful togetherness tells them that they are valuable, worth SEEING with open eyes, in every sense, in every situation. there are huge indications of more problems than ''what's for dinner'' .. the other red flag is you can't speak up, as diplomatic as you apparently are, rationally and lovingly, about a child's well being, which should be everyone's concern, that is a real signal the other caregiver responsible for the child doesnt want to know or doesnt want you to know what they do. no one, not really,in my opinion, no matter how kind otherwise, has your grandson's well being in focus. minimizing, shutting you down..crimson flag. more esp, since that is not normal behavior typical for that adult. this post is a few months old, but i read it and responses and my concerns kept rising, so i hope this doesnt come across too strong. you were being redirected, and invalidated from your core issue, in my opinion. expected to to do as suggested, turn a blind eye, convince yourself it's none of your business, just like every other so called friend or family member of every one of those ''other'' kids. always its the others.. slick people count on that from ''good'' people; they get the ''respect'' of their ''privacy'' in spite of red flags all over the place, that the children are being impacted. Impacted. You know more than ANYONE who this child is, and what is normal, and anyone with an iota of compassion would say that this is not, and you are not being intrusive, you are not being nosy or inappropriate, that's just ignorant, in my opinion... from one grandparent to another, i'd say walk softly but keep your focus on that child's well being, and truth will come out soon i hope, but YOU ARE IT. love is an action word, bless you all. A. [/QUOTE]
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