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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 765298" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Fallingin. What was your user name here before?</p><p></p><p>Look. There are two ways to look at your situation. Both involve at their heart kindness and compassion for yourself. i think chemo is one of the hardest things in life to go through. Paying for an Airbnb so that you don't have one more stress in your life as you undergo treatment, is a gift to yourself. </p><p></p><p>The other way to look at it is this: Paying for an Airbnb may not be enough. What I mean by that, is that maybe you can adopt another attitude towards yourself and your role, and your son's responsibility for himself. Maybe you can consider that your son not you is responsible. And you deserve kindness.</p><p></p><p>The question here is, why aren't you letting yourself live in peace?</p><p></p><p>Where I live there is a Rescue Mission that provides free room and board to people who can't afford it. They rent very nice and sometimes, new, houses where people live communally. The only string attached is abstinence. No drugs and alcohol. That your son chooses substances, over dignity and security, is his choice alone. It's his responsibility. Not yours.</p><p></p><p>Like all of us, you have no control over whether or not your son stops drinking.</p><p></p><p>This situation you are in is entirely about you and your needs. Not his. He's an adult. A responsible adult.</p><p></p><p>Why do you judge yourself? If you need to have your son off the streets while you are in this very difficult process, who could judge you? But clearly, you judge yourself. Quite harshly.</p><p></p><p>The Airbnb is not causing your son's drinking. Your son is responsible. You could house him in the Taj Mahal and his drinking would still be his responsibility. My son's argument was always, I need a place to stay in order to get treatment.</p><p></p><p>Look. Any way you spin it, or I spin it, or they spin it, they're still responsible.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you're back. Please try to be kind to yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 765298, member: 18958"] Hi Fallingin. What was your user name here before? Look. There are two ways to look at your situation. Both involve at their heart kindness and compassion for yourself. i think chemo is one of the hardest things in life to go through. Paying for an Airbnb so that you don't have one more stress in your life as you undergo treatment, is a gift to yourself. The other way to look at it is this: Paying for an Airbnb may not be enough. What I mean by that, is that maybe you can adopt another attitude towards yourself and your role, and your son's responsibility for himself. Maybe you can consider that your son not you is responsible. And you deserve kindness. The question here is, why aren't you letting yourself live in peace? Where I live there is a Rescue Mission that provides free room and board to people who can't afford it. They rent very nice and sometimes, new, houses where people live communally. The only string attached is abstinence. No drugs and alcohol. That your son chooses substances, over dignity and security, is his choice alone. It's his responsibility. Not yours. Like all of us, you have no control over whether or not your son stops drinking. This situation you are in is entirely about you and your needs. Not his. He's an adult. A responsible adult. Why do you judge yourself? If you need to have your son off the streets while you are in this very difficult process, who could judge you? But clearly, you judge yourself. Quite harshly. The Airbnb is not causing your son's drinking. Your son is responsible. You could house him in the Taj Mahal and his drinking would still be his responsibility. My son's argument was always, I need a place to stay in order to get treatment. Look. Any way you spin it, or I spin it, or they spin it, they're still responsible. I am glad you're back. Please try to be kind to yourself. [/QUOTE]
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