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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 766085" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I think it's mostly true that happiness is a choice. Perhaps ENTIRELY.&nbsp; I just lost a friend to cancer, and I tell you the truth, she was happy much of the time. Even when Hospice was called in. I dislike that expression about only being as happy as your least happy child. That is an ugly trap. I can see a tiny (note TINY) bit of validity when they are children, but that is all. Our children grow up and become adults.&nbsp; And as adults, it is their responsibility to seek help for their problems, their addictions, their depression...mental illness...work and home life problems and so forth. We were not meant to continuously, perpetually and forever be at their side to help them get better. For one thing and it's a very important thing, it doesn't work. They absolutely must seek their own betterment. We can't do it for them. Before my own mom died, I recognized that with age brought wisdom and I often sought her opinion about things that were troubling me. Perhaps I took it 60 percent of the time. I appreciated and respected her wisdom that often comes with age (sadly, this type of thing is often not likely with our &quot;special&quot; children) but even with this healthier scenario, I recognized that my mother was not me and didn't likely totally understand my unique set of circumstances and although&nbsp; I appreciated and valued her support...&nbsp; in the end...it was me that would have to move forward and to take accountability for my decisions. Bottom line...we can not be held accountable for the happiness of our children,&nbsp; our adult children in particular. AND it's our responsibility and one might even say obligation , to enjoy life to the best of our ability. Besides,&nbsp; on some level, taking responsibility for and enjoying life...could be an example for our/your children of healthy living.</p></blockquote><p></p>

[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 766085, member: 4152"] I think it's mostly true that happiness is a choice. Perhaps ENTIRELY. I just lost a friend to cancer, and I tell you the truth, she was happy much of the time. Even when Hospice was called in. I dislike that expression about only being as happy as your least happy child. That is an ugly trap. I can see a tiny (note TINY) bit of validity when they are children, but that is all. Our children grow up and become adults. And as adults, it is their responsibility to seek help for their problems, their addictions, their depression...mental illness...work and home life problems and so forth. We were not meant to continuously, perpetually and forever be at their side to help them get better. For one thing and it's a very important thing, it doesn't work. They absolutely must seek their own betterment. We can't do it for them. Before my own mom died, I recognized that with age brought wisdom and I often sought her opinion about things that were troubling me. Perhaps I took it 60 percent of the time. I appreciated and respected her wisdom that often comes with age (sadly, this type of thing is often not likely with our "special" children) but even with this healthier scenario, I recognized that my mother was not me and didn't likely totally understand my unique set of circumstances and although I appreciated and valued her support... in the end...it was me that would have to move forward and to take accountability for my decisions. Bottom line...we can not be held accountable for the happiness of our children, our adult children in particular. AND it's our responsibility and one might even say obligation , to enjoy life to the best of our ability. Besides, on some level, taking responsibility for and enjoying life...could be an example for our/your children of healthy living. [/QUOTE]

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