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Husband took over
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 654787" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa, I need to thank you.</p><p></p><p>I read your post to me again and suddenly I felt relieved and freed. I can't tell you how validating it felt to read about this family of squabbling siblings over this author's memories of her family and it brought up the Plezers and reminded me that nothing should matter to us except our own experience. It makes more sense now t hat my siblings are denying my own experience whereas it puzzled me at first. Now I get it.</p><p></p><p>I suspect that this happens in any family where somebody speaks out about family abuse, whatever the degree. Some abuse is obvious, like David Pelzer's, whom California's Social Services called the third worst case it had ever seen. Some abused kids are not beaten physically (just emotionally) or starved and walk around looking healthy and fortunately few kids have it as bad as David, but more do than most people think. And once you break the silence, and the rest of the family knows it, there is strife. It has to happen as everyone chimes in on what they think really happened. So since my siblings were reading my "memoir" they chimed in on it, like Pelzer's siblings did. One sib, Russell, wrote his own book about his lovely mother who started picking on HIM once David was gone.</p><p></p><p>I understand now how this entire dynamic with my siblings happened. They are just doing what always gets done when somebody speaks out. They are trying to say the truthteller is not telling the truth. Now it probably was NOT their truth, but nothing will ever make me budge from it being my experience in that house with those people and a bunch of psychiatrists and therapists have heard the same version. There is nothing to be gained by crying abuse to people who don't know you, don't even know your name. Attention on the board? Well, I get enough attention in my life and don't really like attention, period. But I suppose that could be argued as well. EVERYTHING that ANYONE claims can be argued against.</p><p></p><p>I feel as if the puzzle pieces have finally been put together now. I told my truth and they didn't like it so it couldn't be true...just like others who have spoken out.</p><p></p><p>I would never write a memoir with real names and places. I do think some people do it to hurt their family of origin. Others, like David, had to use his name or who would believe that a mother made a kid drink bleach? Plus his case is public record. But my sibs are overreacting to me. I am typing on a safe place for me where I have been for eyars. At first I came here to get suggestions about my kids, who are doing well now, thank you. But now I am here to help others, because people helped me so much, and to vent about anything I want to. And I love this site and the people on it. Another site would not be the same for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 654787, member: 1550"] Copa, I need to thank you. I read your post to me again and suddenly I felt relieved and freed. I can't tell you how validating it felt to read about this family of squabbling siblings over this author's memories of her family and it brought up the Plezers and reminded me that nothing should matter to us except our own experience. It makes more sense now t hat my siblings are denying my own experience whereas it puzzled me at first. Now I get it. I suspect that this happens in any family where somebody speaks out about family abuse, whatever the degree. Some abuse is obvious, like David Pelzer's, whom California's Social Services called the third worst case it had ever seen. Some abused kids are not beaten physically (just emotionally) or starved and walk around looking healthy and fortunately few kids have it as bad as David, but more do than most people think. And once you break the silence, and the rest of the family knows it, there is strife. It has to happen as everyone chimes in on what they think really happened. So since my siblings were reading my "memoir" they chimed in on it, like Pelzer's siblings did. One sib, Russell, wrote his own book about his lovely mother who started picking on HIM once David was gone. I understand now how this entire dynamic with my siblings happened. They are just doing what always gets done when somebody speaks out. They are trying to say the truthteller is not telling the truth. Now it probably was NOT their truth, but nothing will ever make me budge from it being my experience in that house with those people and a bunch of psychiatrists and therapists have heard the same version. There is nothing to be gained by crying abuse to people who don't know you, don't even know your name. Attention on the board? Well, I get enough attention in my life and don't really like attention, period. But I suppose that could be argued as well. EVERYTHING that ANYONE claims can be argued against. I feel as if the puzzle pieces have finally been put together now. I told my truth and they didn't like it so it couldn't be true...just like others who have spoken out. I would never write a memoir with real names and places. I do think some people do it to hurt their family of origin. Others, like David, had to use his name or who would believe that a mother made a kid drink bleach? Plus his case is public record. But my sibs are overreacting to me. I am typing on a safe place for me where I have been for eyars. At first I came here to get suggestions about my kids, who are doing well now, thank you. But now I am here to help others, because people helped me so much, and to vent about anything I want to. And I love this site and the people on it. Another site would not be the same for me. [/QUOTE]
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