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Thank you for your reply. I should have been more specific I guess. When I say defend our positions what I mean is that we both feel like we have to defend who we are as people. Thankfully we don’t have the issue of him bringing pot in the house anymore, at least to my knowledge. I will confess that I don’t search his room anymore and won’t unless I feel like it is necessary. I’ve decided not to make it my full time job to be one step ahead of him. He has to make his own choices and suffer his own consequences when he makes bad ones.