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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 749192" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi all thank you so much for your kindness and concern, your love shines through your response.I agree Copa. Hopefully the kids will understand the adjustments that are necessary and be able to cope once the dust has settled and reality sets in.</p><p></p><p> I will be busy getting the necessary requirements in order to become fully licensed, the rest is really up to the family and their ability to understand what happened and make changes. I am recalling when CPS was involved when they were so young and hubs and I were given temporary custody. We had to attend counseling sessions with all parties as well as provide for the kids needs on our own. It was difficult and pretty much blew our savings. At least this time I will have help. I am hoping that their parents and the other grandparents will understand that the kids being in limbo as far as legal custody was not a good thing for anybody, most of all the kids. Now they can get the medical and emotional support they need. </p><p></p><p> He was released the next day, much to his disappointment as he was enjoying the extra attention and liked the hospital food!? I think part of that is being in a calmer environment. My granddaughter helped me make dinner last night and I asked her if she ever cooked before and she said “No Tutu, that house was too crowded.” That seems to be the standard answer with the kids. That is stressful enough, plus the uncertainty of how you will be treated must be nerve wracking.</p><p></p><p> He will have to be quiet for another month, which coincides with his ankle healing. We try to console him with the fact that if there were a time for this to happen, it is now when he is laid up already. Sister said “Tutu, good thing we were with you, they wouldn’t have taken him to the hospital.”<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p>Hoku called me as I was out shopping to exclaim that this young girl of her own accord swept and mopped the kitchen and cleaned the bathrooms. She is such a sweetheart.</p><p></p><p> I am happy for him too. He has handled all of this like a champ, big adjustment, focus switched back to rescue mode and kids in the house. When I apologized to him he said “Mom this is for the kids, at least their parents won’t be here.” He has insisted to give up his larger room for the two boys and take the smaller because it “makes sense”.</p><p> I am glad he has an opportunity to test the college waters before the real deal. The students will have access and help from counselors and others who have come out of this program. And yes, I will miss him. But, it is time for him to test his wings. He gets a bit moody now, I can see the stirring in him, wanting to get out on his own. </p><p> Me too Copa, me too. They have had many challenges in their lives. I have a friend who went through similar circumstances and she is battling alcoholism. She said that it is almost impossible for her to relax after growing up with high stress, drama and chaos. I hope that through counseling the kids are able to let out the feelings they have stuffed down inside. I have told them everything that is going on, feeling that they have a right to know that they are under the States supervision and I am considered a <em>temporary</em> foster parent until I jump through the hoops and hopefully get the full license. This is a big adjustment for all of us and I explained to them that their well being would be monitored, so this is a time to work really hard at healing and living peaceably together. Can’t count on perfection, there will be moments and mistakes but we have to discuss and communicate.</p><p>I would imagine that is a far cry from how things have been for them and it might get irritating after a time to have such a different atmosphere and expectations. It will take some time to see how they fare. We are in the shell shocked stage right now. So far, they have calmed down a lot and the squabbling has minimized. Thank goodness! I am going to be Red Fox clutching my heart when they fight and exclaim “Hubs, hubs do you hear that? I am coming!” Just kidding. I have expressed to them that I am a peace loving person and their yelling at each other is unacceptable. That it is bad for my health and theirs.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh thank you so much Albie. That means a lot to me!</p><p></p><p>Right? The social worker is on to him. They have not been very open to my participation in the kids lives. We have had a very strained relationship as far as everything goes. He thinks he can loom and yell and control outcome. That’s pretty much what got the ball rolling. I hope <em>he</em> knows this.</p><p>I wish you all could too! I have much support from Hoku, who is moving out but will be nearby.</p><p></p><p>Thank you 200. I shall need all of the luck and blessings available!</p><p></p><p> Definitely Beta. It is said that God doesn’t give you anything more than you can handle. I keep looking up and saying “I am not that strong, please help me!” </p><p>It is complex and scary and I cannot imagine how it must have been for these kids. I am hoping that the CWS involvement will curb any retaliation on the other end.They have a lot at stake with the other grandkids that are living over there. Their saving grace is that their parents are there too. As my grandkids have said “We are their slaves because we don’t have parents to protect us.” I had my granddaughter last winter break and asked her if she was okay and happy. I think she was too afraid to open up. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> Now all sorts of stuff is spilling out and it breaks my heart. It will take a lot of work towards healing. That’s for sure.</p><p>Thank you all so much for your support. I will check in as I am able, I will be so busy with the kids and such.</p><p>All my love and hugs.</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 749192, member: 19522"] Hi all thank you so much for your kindness and concern, your love shines through your response.I agree Copa. Hopefully the kids will understand the adjustments that are necessary and be able to cope once the dust has settled and reality sets in. I will be busy getting the necessary requirements in order to become fully licensed, the rest is really up to the family and their ability to understand what happened and make changes. I am recalling when CPS was involved when they were so young and hubs and I were given temporary custody. We had to attend counseling sessions with all parties as well as provide for the kids needs on our own. It was difficult and pretty much blew our savings. At least this time I will have help. I am hoping that their parents and the other grandparents will understand that the kids being in limbo as far as legal custody was not a good thing for anybody, most of all the kids. Now they can get the medical and emotional support they need. He was released the next day, much to his disappointment as he was enjoying the extra attention and liked the hospital food!? I think part of that is being in a calmer environment. My granddaughter helped me make dinner last night and I asked her if she ever cooked before and she said “No Tutu, that house was too crowded.” That seems to be the standard answer with the kids. That is stressful enough, plus the uncertainty of how you will be treated must be nerve wracking. He will have to be quiet for another month, which coincides with his ankle healing. We try to console him with the fact that if there were a time for this to happen, it is now when he is laid up already. Sister said “Tutu, good thing we were with you, they wouldn’t have taken him to the hospital.”:( Hoku called me as I was out shopping to exclaim that this young girl of her own accord swept and mopped the kitchen and cleaned the bathrooms. She is such a sweetheart. I am happy for him too. He has handled all of this like a champ, big adjustment, focus switched back to rescue mode and kids in the house. When I apologized to him he said “Mom this is for the kids, at least their parents won’t be here.” He has insisted to give up his larger room for the two boys and take the smaller because it “makes sense”. I am glad he has an opportunity to test the college waters before the real deal. The students will have access and help from counselors and others who have come out of this program. And yes, I will miss him. But, it is time for him to test his wings. He gets a bit moody now, I can see the stirring in him, wanting to get out on his own. Me too Copa, me too. They have had many challenges in their lives. I have a friend who went through similar circumstances and she is battling alcoholism. She said that it is almost impossible for her to relax after growing up with high stress, drama and chaos. I hope that through counseling the kids are able to let out the feelings they have stuffed down inside. I have told them everything that is going on, feeling that they have a right to know that they are under the States supervision and I am considered a [I]temporary[/I] foster parent until I jump through the hoops and hopefully get the full license. This is a big adjustment for all of us and I explained to them that their well being would be monitored, so this is a time to work really hard at healing and living peaceably together. Can’t count on perfection, there will be moments and mistakes but we have to discuss and communicate. I would imagine that is a far cry from how things have been for them and it might get irritating after a time to have such a different atmosphere and expectations. It will take some time to see how they fare. We are in the shell shocked stage right now. So far, they have calmed down a lot and the squabbling has minimized. Thank goodness! I am going to be Red Fox clutching my heart when they fight and exclaim “Hubs, hubs do you hear that? I am coming!” Just kidding. I have expressed to them that I am a peace loving person and their yelling at each other is unacceptable. That it is bad for my health and theirs. Oh thank you so much Albie. That means a lot to me! Right? The social worker is on to him. They have not been very open to my participation in the kids lives. We have had a very strained relationship as far as everything goes. He thinks he can loom and yell and control outcome. That’s pretty much what got the ball rolling. I hope [I]he[/I] knows this. I wish you all could too! I have much support from Hoku, who is moving out but will be nearby. Thank you 200. I shall need all of the luck and blessings available! Definitely Beta. It is said that God doesn’t give you anything more than you can handle. I keep looking up and saying “I am not that strong, please help me!” It is complex and scary and I cannot imagine how it must have been for these kids. I am hoping that the CWS involvement will curb any retaliation on the other end.They have a lot at stake with the other grandkids that are living over there. Their saving grace is that their parents are there too. As my grandkids have said “We are their slaves because we don’t have parents to protect us.” I had my granddaughter last winter break and asked her if she was okay and happy. I think she was too afraid to open up. :( Now all sorts of stuff is spilling out and it breaks my heart. It will take a lot of work towards healing. That’s for sure. Thank you all so much for your support. I will check in as I am able, I will be so busy with the kids and such. All my love and hugs. Leafy [/QUOTE]
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