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I acted on a suspicion
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 691085" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I understand this completely. My son often has periods of "I'm useless and ugly and no one will ever love me." Funny how we're "no one" huh? Jabber and I have been known to call them his, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat a worm" moods. </p><p></p><p>Now, maybe it's manipulation. Maybe it's real. Maybe he really does feel like he's ugly and unlovable. But I can't stand them. If it's manipulation, it works. I literally feel my heart breaking if he sheds a tear, but just the <em>words</em> <em>"</em>I'm ugly and useless" KILLS me! My son is not movie-star handsome, but he's FAR from ugly. Even with his horrible teeth that are his own damn fault ($5000 for braces and he let them get crooked again and won't even brush <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" />) he's <em>still</em> a good-looking young man! </p><p></p><p>In a way, you and I are very alike, in that we both, to some extent, feel like our son's choose this. Now, most people think mine does, but there is this tiny part of me that says, "Maybe he can't help it." It's the same piece that says, "Maybe he's innocent." But in the end, I still feel like he can STOP feeling like this. He can STOP <em>feeling</em> useless if he just stops <em>being</em> useless. He can stop feeling ugly if he'll just take a bath, brush his teeth, cut his hair and look presentable! So yes, your way of handling this is to ignore it. My way is to nag. Neither seem to work. Maybe we should trade kids? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/giggle.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":giggle:" title="giggle :giggle:" data-shortname=":giggle:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 691085, member: 17309"] I understand this completely. My son often has periods of "I'm useless and ugly and no one will ever love me." Funny how we're "no one" huh? Jabber and I have been known to call them his, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I think I'll eat a worm" moods. Now, maybe it's manipulation. Maybe it's real. Maybe he really does feel like he's ugly and unlovable. But I can't stand them. If it's manipulation, it works. I literally feel my heart breaking if he sheds a tear, but just the [I]words[/I] [I]"[/I]I'm ugly and useless" KILLS me! My son is not movie-star handsome, but he's FAR from ugly. Even with his horrible teeth that are his own damn fault ($5000 for braces and he let them get crooked again and won't even brush :mad:) he's [I]still[/I] a good-looking young man! In a way, you and I are very alike, in that we both, to some extent, feel like our son's choose this. Now, most people think mine does, but there is this tiny part of me that says, "Maybe he can't help it." It's the same piece that says, "Maybe he's innocent." But in the end, I still feel like he can STOP feeling like this. He can STOP [I]feeling[/I] useless if he just stops [I]being[/I] useless. He can stop feeling ugly if he'll just take a bath, brush his teeth, cut his hair and look presentable! So yes, your way of handling this is to ignore it. My way is to nag. Neither seem to work. Maybe we should trade kids? :giggle: [/QUOTE]
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