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I acted on a suspicion
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 691467" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Well, Lil, you and Jabber are my role models. I used to think that you tried too hard, until I realized that I needed to do the same thing. And wanted too.</p><p></p><p>M was the one who knew first. Before my son came home, what is it 4 months ago, I lost track, he said to me something like this: <em>I need to try with SON to teach him. I need it for me.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>You see, for years he had felt a great deal of guilt that he did not work with my son, show him how to work, model what it is to have a real family that has your back. <em>You see, I had never had it. I only knew the version where I was eaten up for lunch, and then for dinner too.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>The more I can open my heart and have hope, (with structure, rules and consequences), the more hope seems to have my son--and he tries, too. And then it is a spiral. What goes around comes around.</p><p></p><p>Now, he still sees us as marks, but less and less. And he sees himself as trying and changing. A little. It is slow, but he is turning the ocean liner around. </p><p></p><p>I hate to say it, because I will have to eat it, I fear, but that is how it seems, today, right now.</p><p></p><p>I have been thinking the last couple of days: I have a family. A real family. (I sound like Sally Fields at the Oscars, <em>you like me, you really like me.) </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Do not doubt yourself, Lil. <em>This will work</em>, what you are doing. I did not think it would. I do now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 691467, member: 18958"] Well, Lil, you and Jabber are my role models. I used to think that you tried too hard, until I realized that I needed to do the same thing. And wanted too. M was the one who knew first. Before my son came home, what is it 4 months ago, I lost track, he said to me something like this: [I]I need to try with SON to teach him. I need it for me. [/I] You see, for years he had felt a great deal of guilt that he did not work with my son, show him how to work, model what it is to have a real family that has your back. [I]You see, I had never had it. I only knew the version where I was eaten up for lunch, and then for dinner too. [/I] The more I can open my heart and have hope, (with structure, rules and consequences), the more hope seems to have my son--and he tries, too. And then it is a spiral. What goes around comes around. Now, he still sees us as marks, but less and less. And he sees himself as trying and changing. A little. It is slow, but he is turning the ocean liner around. I hate to say it, because I will have to eat it, I fear, but that is how it seems, today, right now. I have been thinking the last couple of days: I have a family. A real family. (I sound like Sally Fields at the Oscars, [I]you like me, you really like me.) [/I] Do not doubt yourself, Lil. [I]This will work[/I], what you are doing. I did not think it would. I do now. [/QUOTE]
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