Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I am back
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 752679" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">Yes.</span></p><p>I sat with this for a few minutes, staring at the computer screen, because what my son does, seems different but not. When he is in the metro a few hours from me, and he runs out of money, he no longer calls for me to send money to Walmart or Western Union. He borrows from other people. But that went on years. And I did it. Sending no more than $80. Somehow he found some strength or dignity to stop asking me But I don't think it was respect for what I have, or caring that I keep my money.</p><p></p><p>Now that he has been living with M he is running out of money every month, sometimes as early as the 10th. He's now in the street and I think he is close to having no money.</p><p></p><p>Every month he's been back he has run out of money, with the expectation that we pick up the slack. It's horrible.</p><p></p><p>I think about this all of the time:Am I putting a false bottom in his life, beyond which he will fall? Clearly I am. And am I teaching him that somebody will always be there to provide that bottom, when in reality they won't?</p><p></p><p>I worry all of the time about when I die. And I can't keep him safe. Yet I realize that I can't keep him safe, now.</p><p></p><p>And just like with your son, if we let him, he'd eat us alive. Not out of meanness, but because he only sees things from his own perspective. He has no sense of the whole. That everybody's welfare matters. Only his own. It's not necessarily selfishness. (Although it is. } It's egocentrism. He and his needs and desires are at the center of the world. And he sees not much else.</p><p></p><p>I have worried these past 12 years enough for 10 lifetimes. That must be why I do what I do. When he's at home there is a bottom line in life for me. </p><p></p><p>I guess I help him when I can't bear not doing so. There have been long periods when I could stop. For me, the longer this goes on the weaker and more vulnerable I get. Sadly.</p><p></p><p>Take care triedandtrue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 752679, member: 18958"] [LEFT][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)]Yes.[/COLOR][/LEFT] I sat with this for a few minutes, staring at the computer screen, because what my son does, seems different but not. When he is in the metro a few hours from me, and he runs out of money, he no longer calls for me to send money to Walmart or Western Union. He borrows from other people. But that went on years. And I did it. Sending no more than $80. Somehow he found some strength or dignity to stop asking me But I don't think it was respect for what I have, or caring that I keep my money. Now that he has been living with M he is running out of money every month, sometimes as early as the 10th. He's now in the street and I think he is close to having no money. Every month he's been back he has run out of money, with the expectation that we pick up the slack. It's horrible. I think about this all of the time:Am I putting a false bottom in his life, beyond which he will fall? Clearly I am. And am I teaching him that somebody will always be there to provide that bottom, when in reality they won't? I worry all of the time about when I die. And I can't keep him safe. Yet I realize that I can't keep him safe, now. And just like with your son, if we let him, he'd eat us alive. Not out of meanness, but because he only sees things from his own perspective. He has no sense of the whole. That everybody's welfare matters. Only his own. It's not necessarily selfishness. (Although it is. } It's egocentrism. He and his needs and desires are at the center of the world. And he sees not much else. I have worried these past 12 years enough for 10 lifetimes. That must be why I do what I do. When he's at home there is a bottom line in life for me. I guess I help him when I can't bear not doing so. There have been long periods when I could stop. For me, the longer this goes on the weaker and more vulnerable I get. Sadly. Take care triedandtrue. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
I am back
Top