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Failure to Thrive
I am sad and at a loss
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 765254" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is the red line that has been crossed. You can't ignore it. In the USA there is something called a restraining order. that limits contact with somebody who has threatened violence against us. In your situation, your son has already acted violently and has a pattern of violence. People get a restraining order by going to the District Attorney. It is then put into effect by a judge. I don't see that you have any choice here. First, it matters whether you live or die. Second, it matters whether or not you're aggressed against. Third, if you do not act, you are condoning your son's behavior. He will escalate. Against you or somebody else. He will go to prison. That is a fact.</p><p></p><p>Almost all of us here are dealing with adult children who when they grew up, became people that we don't any longer know. </p><p></p><p>We do everything we can think of to try to incentivize, cajole, control or manipulate our adult children to return to the person that they were. It does not work. It took me years and years to accept that young people can change, radically, so, and there is not one thing we can do. This is reality. We can't change it. Only our adult children can change themselves. They do so when there are consequences.</p><p></p><p>The behavior by your son requires a serious response from you. You are not safe. Please act.</p><p></p><p>Having your son back to what he was is a fantasy. But it is a very scary and potentially dangerous fantasy. Please act.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 765254, member: 18958"] This is the red line that has been crossed. You can't ignore it. In the USA there is something called a restraining order. that limits contact with somebody who has threatened violence against us. In your situation, your son has already acted violently and has a pattern of violence. People get a restraining order by going to the District Attorney. It is then put into effect by a judge. I don't see that you have any choice here. First, it matters whether you live or die. Second, it matters whether or not you're aggressed against. Third, if you do not act, you are condoning your son's behavior. He will escalate. Against you or somebody else. He will go to prison. That is a fact. Almost all of us here are dealing with adult children who when they grew up, became people that we don't any longer know. We do everything we can think of to try to incentivize, cajole, control or manipulate our adult children to return to the person that they were. It does not work. It took me years and years to accept that young people can change, radically, so, and there is not one thing we can do. This is reality. We can't change it. Only our adult children can change themselves. They do so when there are consequences. The behavior by your son requires a serious response from you. You are not safe. Please act. Having your son back to what he was is a fantasy. But it is a very scary and potentially dangerous fantasy. Please act. [/QUOTE]
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I am sad and at a loss
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