I know all about having a husband who just doesn't seem to get it. I asked husband a few weeks ago how he thought our difficult child was doing since we've uped the dose of his medications. His answer? "I don't know. I'm not paying attention." We called the police two weeks ago because he was so unstable and a danger to the others in the house, which was what precipitated the medication increase, but you're not paying attention? Yeah, I get it, and it's infuriating!! It must be more so for you because it's HIS son that is exhibiting these behaviors and as a step-mom your hands are tied on alot of things.
First of all, if you don't keep a phone on your person, always know that you are able to get to a phone if you need to. If he becomes violent you have to be able to protect yourself and your younger son. And I agree with the other suggestion that you keep a house key on you, or at least hide one outside so that if you go outside to take a breath and he locks you out you can unlock the door. by the way, why did you husband not have a key to the house the day difficult child locked you out?
The thing is that he's 8. Unless you can get him under control it's only going to get worse. He's going to get bigger and stronger and once puberty hits it's going to make things 10x worse.
If you're not happy with the psychiatrist I would suggest getting a new one. He's on Abilify, right? Would you consider a medication change? What he's taking right now doesn't seem to he helping, or could actually be making things worse. It's obvious that his mother isn't very much help in the matter. Does she give him the medications when he is with her? How does he behave there, or does she let him run wild so as not to have to deal with the defiant behavior?
I know that school is almost out for the year, but do they have an after school program that you could send him to? At least he would be there for a few hours after the school day is out, which will give you a little more quiet time.
