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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 569289" data-attributes="member: 1233">Kathy, it is NOT stupid to think she would snap out of it and grow up.&nbsp; Actually, that is a pretty normal expectation and for many many families it is reality.&nbsp; There are a LOT of us who partied a bit much and did stupid things during the first 'adult' years, the years many think of as teh 'college' years. It is pretty normal for kids to do a fair amount of partying in college, enough to really upset parents, but more and more people now are not stopping/winding down those activities as they graduate and move into the real world of working a job every day, bill paying, etc.....&nbsp; Even my friends who didn't go to college followed this pattern pretty much.So expecting difficult child to mature and clean up her act?&nbsp; in my opinion was a fairly rational expectation.&nbsp; It is just not what she did because she has bigger problems and really does not seem to want to grow up.I think it is wonderful that you contacted an interventionist and got that level of professional help, and that the help continues for a year and doesn't end when she goes to rehab.&nbsp; I doubt this will be an easy road for any of you, but I think you have a strong support system and should be proud of yourself.&nbsp; Why?&nbsp; You have literally tried EVERYTHING from the traditional AA/rehab route, the the DBT route, to letting her do her thing, and at each turn when she has balked you kept trying.&nbsp; Now?&nbsp; You learned she escalated to the level of heroin use and you stepped up and got the ENTIRE family to help you and you did what was needed to get her to rehab.You are still working to help her, and doing this by NOT sending her stuff until she gives the full release, and by doing what the intervenetionist directs.&nbsp; You truly cannot do any more, and I think that difficult child is very lucky to have you for her mom and yoru family&nbsp; for her family.Do whatever feels right for you and the rest of the family this holday season.&nbsp; Feel what you feel when you feel it, and allow that to be okay.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 569289, member: 1233"] Kathy, it is NOT stupid to think she would snap out of it and grow up. Actually, that is a pretty normal expectation and for many many families it is reality. There are a LOT of us who partied a bit much and did stupid things during the first 'adult' years, the years many think of as teh 'college' years. It is pretty normal for kids to do a fair amount of partying in college, enough to really upset parents, but more and more people now are not stopping/winding down those activities as they graduate and move into the real world of working a job every day, bill paying, etc..... Even my friends who didn't go to college followed this pattern pretty much. So expecting difficult child to mature and clean up her act? in my opinion was a fairly rational expectation. It is just not what she did because she has bigger problems and really does not seem to want to grow up. I think it is wonderful that you contacted an interventionist and got that level of professional help, and that the help continues for a year and doesn't end when she goes to rehab. I doubt this will be an easy road for any of you, but I think you have a strong support system and should be proud of yourself. Why? You have literally tried EVERYTHING from the traditional AA/rehab route, the the DBT route, to letting her do her thing, and at each turn when she has balked you kept trying. Now? You learned she escalated to the level of heroin use and you stepped up and got the ENTIRE family to help you and you did what was needed to get her to rehab. You are still working to help her, and doing this by NOT sending her stuff until she gives the full release, and by doing what the intervenetionist directs. You truly cannot do any more, and I think that difficult child is very lucky to have you for her mom and yoru family for her family. Do whatever feels right for you and the rest of the family this holday season. Feel what you feel when you feel it, and allow that to be okay. [/QUOTE]

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