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I can't cope anymore with teen daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Charlie" data-source="post: 733136" data-attributes="member: 23062"><p>Hi , these difficulties seems to have started from Christmas. There have been a few issues over the years but nothing that couldn't be handled . She is 13 and I have found since I bought her her phone st Christmas she has become more and more addicted to it and also more and more angry towards me .background info . Her dad and I have always had issues . He was a drinker when we met. Always the life and soul of the party but was just through a divorce . I had just had a close bearevenent . Wrong time I guess but we got together . I always suspected he didn't really love me but was using me as a means to an ends really . He encouraged me to buy a house and he contributed half of this every month . He was good at doing things such as outdoor things . Not do good with the relationship side of things though and as I was a living tactile person I wasn't getting that from him . I was lonely and ended up anxious and depressed being stuck in the house all the time . Ended up with agoraphobia also. I still loved him though but put a stop to the drinking when I was pregnant.qas very sick throughout pregnancy but no support from him . He just couldn't seem to show love or support about anything . So when I had my much wanted child I was pretty much on my own with that also . Putting all my resources into bringing child up . Such a joyous time in my life and the last k if affection or support or any type of parenting skills weren't really another as I was doing just fine . As I did everything myself I wanted to gone the best childhood I could .she loves to perform so I made sure she got plenty of experience and joy in doing what she loved . Sort of forgot about my own needs and brushed the relationship problems under the carpet . We all coasted along . I managed any health problems myself but I never showed them . Got myself out and about again as I had to ... fast forward 13 years and the ... hits the fan .cant take any more being in a relationship with someone who can't show affection . Can't sleep beside me in case I move in the bed . And really lives like a ghost in my home . I thought I'm lonely anyway so I'd be better off without him . He eventually left after 6 months of digging his heels in. No arguing no shouting just the usual being ignored but only speaking to out child if he needed anything . Those 6 months were v tough on me mentally and physically . I have autoimmune disease which I suspect I always had and this was the reason behind the anxiety and deprssion amongst other things . Anyway that is being dealt with now and I know I can feel better with the right help . Problem is my child . Since the ex partner kept digging his heels in and not wanting to let go .ge went to stay with his parents . Still walking in and out of our home . So stressful and I begged him not to as it was affecting our child . As I was getting upset even though I hid it . Just realised about how much hiding was going on ! Light bulb moment there ! Anyway in last 6 months my teen has become angry and volatile and abusive towards me ! I am in process of finding a counsellor as she will not listen any more . I feel like the crappiest mother ever for ruining her life by not staying with her dad and just putting up with the life we had . I feel I am suffering g more now than when he was here . She has wrecked my things . Kicked me slapped me . Used abusive language . Slamming doors . I feel so responsible and my health is suffering . I know I need counselling too . She has a great bunch of friends except one who seems jealous of her. She seems so much worse around her period but also when tired or hungry and off coursewhen I try to help by encouraging rest and relaxation . I took her to the doctor as I was a bit concerned re sensory issues . How clothes feel and socks and things have always been an issue also won't eat sauces or anything remotely gloopy . I don't know if this is connected . I do see autoimmune problems starting and she's just been diagnosed with hypermobility. I have no support but I cannot take the screaming and crying and abusing me . At least when her dad was here she did not do this as I feel she was more afraid of him being angry do I guess she's not afraid of me . Please help and don't attack me . I'm finding things so difficult .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Charlie, post: 733136, member: 23062"] Hi , these difficulties seems to have started from Christmas. There have been a few issues over the years but nothing that couldn't be handled . She is 13 and I have found since I bought her her phone st Christmas she has become more and more addicted to it and also more and more angry towards me .background info . Her dad and I have always had issues . He was a drinker when we met. Always the life and soul of the party but was just through a divorce . I had just had a close bearevenent . Wrong time I guess but we got together . I always suspected he didn't really love me but was using me as a means to an ends really . He encouraged me to buy a house and he contributed half of this every month . He was good at doing things such as outdoor things . Not do good with the relationship side of things though and as I was a living tactile person I wasn't getting that from him . I was lonely and ended up anxious and depressed being stuck in the house all the time . Ended up with agoraphobia also. I still loved him though but put a stop to the drinking when I was pregnant.qas very sick throughout pregnancy but no support from him . He just couldn't seem to show love or support about anything . So when I had my much wanted child I was pretty much on my own with that also . Putting all my resources into bringing child up . Such a joyous time in my life and the last k if affection or support or any type of parenting skills weren't really another as I was doing just fine . As I did everything myself I wanted to gone the best childhood I could .she loves to perform so I made sure she got plenty of experience and joy in doing what she loved . Sort of forgot about my own needs and brushed the relationship problems under the carpet . We all coasted along . I managed any health problems myself but I never showed them . Got myself out and about again as I had to ... fast forward 13 years and the ... hits the fan .cant take any more being in a relationship with someone who can't show affection . Can't sleep beside me in case I move in the bed . And really lives like a ghost in my home . I thought I'm lonely anyway so I'd be better off without him . He eventually left after 6 months of digging his heels in. No arguing no shouting just the usual being ignored but only speaking to out child if he needed anything . Those 6 months were v tough on me mentally and physically . I have autoimmune disease which I suspect I always had and this was the reason behind the anxiety and deprssion amongst other things . Anyway that is being dealt with now and I know I can feel better with the right help . Problem is my child . Since the ex partner kept digging his heels in and not wanting to let go .ge went to stay with his parents . Still walking in and out of our home . So stressful and I begged him not to as it was affecting our child . As I was getting upset even though I hid it . Just realised about how much hiding was going on ! Light bulb moment there ! Anyway in last 6 months my teen has become angry and volatile and abusive towards me ! I am in process of finding a counsellor as she will not listen any more . I feel like the crappiest mother ever for ruining her life by not staying with her dad and just putting up with the life we had . I feel I am suffering g more now than when he was here . She has wrecked my things . Kicked me slapped me . Used abusive language . Slamming doors . I feel so responsible and my health is suffering . I know I need counselling too . She has a great bunch of friends except one who seems jealous of her. She seems so much worse around her period but also when tired or hungry and off coursewhen I try to help by encouraging rest and relaxation . I took her to the doctor as I was a bit concerned re sensory issues . How clothes feel and socks and things have always been an issue also won't eat sauces or anything remotely gloopy . I don't know if this is connected . I do see autoimmune problems starting and she's just been diagnosed with hypermobility. I have no support but I cannot take the screaming and crying and abusing me . At least when her dad was here she did not do this as I feel she was more afraid of him being angry do I guess she's not afraid of me . Please help and don't attack me . I'm finding things so difficult . [/QUOTE]
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