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I can't do this....
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 692193" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>Lil do you ever think that maybe the little things they do irritate you more than they should? I ask because I find that my oldest Tay who is actually much better than ever before still irritates me over the littlest things. IE: she recently moved back in and is leaving shoes, purses, and stuff around the house. This stuff is normal for a 20 year old. I've just gotten used to it being three people in the house and us not having that stuff around. Seriously she leaves the shoes by the door the purse by the door and the (whatever else she had in hand) on the table inside the door. For most people that would be the accurate drop zone for me it drives me nuts. Remember she's only been here a week not 2.5 months like yours.</p><p></p><p>The reason I wonder is because I think that as the parents of kids like ours who can be angry, unpredictable, and just downright scary at times we develop a small case of PTSD. Or some version thereof. We see the small stuff and in our mind it is a precursor to something bigger. In our head we picture the next major meltdown or the kid homeless when in reality we are just making ourselves a nervous wreck.</p><p></p><p>in my humble opinion I think your son needs some major help. Personally I think it would be a great idea to get him away from all this crap and somewhere where he has a good influence. Easier said than done.</p><p></p><p>Until the perfect place appears out of the pale blue yonder I think you and Jabber should consider an alternate solution. This will sound bad but I treat my kid like she is a renter who doesn't pay rent. I expect nothing, I give nothing, and I ask nothing. IE: there is your room and your bathroom. Feel free to enjoy them. The living room is for the paying guests. She is welcome to join us for dinner if invited but if she wants other food she has to buy it and cook it. I don't clean up after her. I call her out to come do it and she either does or she can leave. She isn't allowed to veg on my couch all day. She's got a bed for that.</p><p></p><p>You mentioned a basement. Why not let him live down there and draw up a rental agreement? He pays a minimal amount monthly and you don't have to see him? You write in to the agreement the ability to spot check twice a month without notice? He isn't allowed in the rest of the house unless invited. He doesn't pay rent or breaks the rules you start the eviction process. Being a lawyer you could figure out the gist of a generic rental contract that would get him out of your hair.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 692193, member: 15473"] Lil do you ever think that maybe the little things they do irritate you more than they should? I ask because I find that my oldest Tay who is actually much better than ever before still irritates me over the littlest things. IE: she recently moved back in and is leaving shoes, purses, and stuff around the house. This stuff is normal for a 20 year old. I've just gotten used to it being three people in the house and us not having that stuff around. Seriously she leaves the shoes by the door the purse by the door and the (whatever else she had in hand) on the table inside the door. For most people that would be the accurate drop zone for me it drives me nuts. Remember she's only been here a week not 2.5 months like yours. The reason I wonder is because I think that as the parents of kids like ours who can be angry, unpredictable, and just downright scary at times we develop a small case of PTSD. Or some version thereof. We see the small stuff and in our mind it is a precursor to something bigger. In our head we picture the next major meltdown or the kid homeless when in reality we are just making ourselves a nervous wreck. in my humble opinion I think your son needs some major help. Personally I think it would be a great idea to get him away from all this crap and somewhere where he has a good influence. Easier said than done. Until the perfect place appears out of the pale blue yonder I think you and Jabber should consider an alternate solution. This will sound bad but I treat my kid like she is a renter who doesn't pay rent. I expect nothing, I give nothing, and I ask nothing. IE: there is your room and your bathroom. Feel free to enjoy them. The living room is for the paying guests. She is welcome to join us for dinner if invited but if she wants other food she has to buy it and cook it. I don't clean up after her. I call her out to come do it and she either does or she can leave. She isn't allowed to veg on my couch all day. She's got a bed for that. You mentioned a basement. Why not let him live down there and draw up a rental agreement? He pays a minimal amount monthly and you don't have to see him? You write in to the agreement the ability to spot check twice a month without notice? He isn't allowed in the rest of the house unless invited. He doesn't pay rent or breaks the rules you start the eviction process. Being a lawyer you could figure out the gist of a generic rental contract that would get him out of your hair. [/QUOTE]
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