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I can't do this....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 692196" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I like dstc's point of view, but I think I disagree in part.</p><p></p><p>I believe we still have a role as parents even though these kids are now adults. From my way of thinking (and I know not everybody agrees with me) I still have an obligation to act in such a way that does not foster my child's dependency or stunt his growth. </p><p></p><p>It is not always clear to me, what that is. But I knew that letting him lay around in my house, smoke marijuana, take control, etc. was not in his best interests, let alone mine.</p><p></p><p>There is no reason to think that lil and Jabber's son would do anything better or different if he was given the privilege of staying on in their house. Actually, in my mind, it would be a deterrent. </p><p></p><p>As far as their son needing a great deal of help, I disagree there, too. To me, he seems headstrong and self-indulgent, but he seems to control himself when he needs to. </p><p></p><p>As long as he believes his mother will suffer for him, he will not change. I believe that because I have seen that with my own eyes with my own son. </p><p></p><p>When he was acting like a nutcase with his conspiracy theories, successfully got his SSI, went in and out of residential treatment and crisis programs--I was the only one who did not think he was seriously and irrevocably mentally ill. The only one. That stupid psychiatrist/pschoanalyst I was paying $250 an hour was certain, just certain that my son (who he had never met) was a goner.</p><p></p><p>All I did was tell my son I would not talk to him if he spouted his fruitcake theories--and hung up if he did--and he was cured. *Well he still believes them (but I have not heard him mention Brexit one time)-- he has miraculously found the self-control to not talk about them, which is unlike any delusional person I have ever known in my life.</p><p></p><p>You see, some of our kids, not all, but many of them--will be as crazy and as big a losers as we allow them to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 692196, member: 18958"] I like dstc's point of view, but I think I disagree in part. I believe we still have a role as parents even though these kids are now adults. From my way of thinking (and I know not everybody agrees with me) I still have an obligation to act in such a way that does not foster my child's dependency or stunt his growth. It is not always clear to me, what that is. But I knew that letting him lay around in my house, smoke marijuana, take control, etc. was not in his best interests, let alone mine. There is no reason to think that lil and Jabber's son would do anything better or different if he was given the privilege of staying on in their house. Actually, in my mind, it would be a deterrent. As far as their son needing a great deal of help, I disagree there, too. To me, he seems headstrong and self-indulgent, but he seems to control himself when he needs to. As long as he believes his mother will suffer for him, he will not change. I believe that because I have seen that with my own eyes with my own son. When he was acting like a nutcase with his conspiracy theories, successfully got his SSI, went in and out of residential treatment and crisis programs--I was the only one who did not think he was seriously and irrevocably mentally ill. The only one. That stupid psychiatrist/pschoanalyst I was paying $250 an hour was certain, just certain that my son (who he had never met) was a goner. All I did was tell my son I would not talk to him if he spouted his fruitcake theories--and hung up if he did--and he was cured. *Well he still believes them (but I have not heard him mention Brexit one time)-- he has miraculously found the self-control to not talk about them, which is unlike any delusional person I have ever known in my life. You see, some of our kids, not all, but many of them--will be as crazy and as big a losers as we allow them to be. [/QUOTE]
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