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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 692225" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Now, I am aware here that one might think that I am forcing my son to suppress mental illness as a condition of support by me. </p><p></p><p>Or conversely, might think that I am taking away the pay off and incentives for my son to act mentally ill, or extract favors from others using the excuse of mental illness.</p><p></p><p>Of course, I prefer the latter. The worst could happen or it could not. My son will decide. If he feels that my view of him is incorrect or harsh, there are all kinds of community resources of which he might avail himself, away from me. All of them, I am certain, have harsher requirements than do I. It is his choice. </p><p></p><p>I am not insensitive to mental illness. I just do not think it is an excuse to not be productive if one is able bodied, attempt to handle problems and to control one's behavior, except in extreme cases. </p><p></p><p>I prefer to pull for strength. Almost all of the children on this forum save the ones with active psychosis fit the criteria of being able to be productive, should they choose, and control their behavior. I believe to expect less of them is to sell them out. Actually, I do believe that. To the extent that I did not call my son out, before, I betrayed him and I betrayed myself.</p><p></p><p>After you guys went to sleep, I went out to the kitchen to tell my son to help me wash the dishes and stove. And guess what? He had done it. </p><p></p><p>He is concerned because last night he left the back door wide open and the cat got out. He is apprehensive we will ask him to leave. While it breaks my heart a bit that he is fearful, I believe that in another way I am reassuring him--because I have a bottom line. I have a bottom line for him. Of what I expect from him. Expectations are a vote of confidence. Hope is a vote of confidence. </p><p></p><p>I believe that strongly, actually. </p><p></p><p>I am reassuring him that I believe in him. That I believe in him so much that I can hold the line. My line. I am even believing now a little bit that in time this will mean that he will be able to pick up the slack for me a little bit, some day. I am gaining confidence that this might happen. That as I get older and older, he will step up. That is very important to me because I want to be able to leave him whatever money and assets I have. </p><p></p><p>Of course, the worst thing can always happen. But sometimes, it does not. We cannot always be afraid of the worst thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 692225, member: 18958"] Now, I am aware here that one might think that I am forcing my son to suppress mental illness as a condition of support by me. Or conversely, might think that I am taking away the pay off and incentives for my son to act mentally ill, or extract favors from others using the excuse of mental illness. Of course, I prefer the latter. The worst could happen or it could not. My son will decide. If he feels that my view of him is incorrect or harsh, there are all kinds of community resources of which he might avail himself, away from me. All of them, I am certain, have harsher requirements than do I. It is his choice. I am not insensitive to mental illness. I just do not think it is an excuse to not be productive if one is able bodied, attempt to handle problems and to control one's behavior, except in extreme cases. I prefer to pull for strength. Almost all of the children on this forum save the ones with active psychosis fit the criteria of being able to be productive, should they choose, and control their behavior. I believe to expect less of them is to sell them out. Actually, I do believe that. To the extent that I did not call my son out, before, I betrayed him and I betrayed myself. After you guys went to sleep, I went out to the kitchen to tell my son to help me wash the dishes and stove. And guess what? He had done it. He is concerned because last night he left the back door wide open and the cat got out. He is apprehensive we will ask him to leave. While it breaks my heart a bit that he is fearful, I believe that in another way I am reassuring him--because I have a bottom line. I have a bottom line for him. Of what I expect from him. Expectations are a vote of confidence. Hope is a vote of confidence. I believe that strongly, actually. I am reassuring him that I believe in him. That I believe in him so much that I can hold the line. My line. I am even believing now a little bit that in time this will mean that he will be able to pick up the slack for me a little bit, some day. I am gaining confidence that this might happen. That as I get older and older, he will step up. That is very important to me because I want to be able to leave him whatever money and assets I have. Of course, the worst thing can always happen. But sometimes, it does not. We cannot always be afraid of the worst thing. [/QUOTE]
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