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I can't do this....
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 692396" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Yes he had a setback and you did the only thing you could do, in my humble opinion. But he didn't pick it up and move it forward after that. He just "stayed back" with the setback. So that's on him.</p><p></p><p>He has had ample time, Lil, and I know that is so hard to bear. And now, it's time to pay the piper. If you two decide to offer one month's rent, that is WAY beyond what you told him you would do. And so again, you are teaching him that you will say one thing and do another (but I get that, I am not criticizing you). </p><p></p><p>When will you stop? That is the question. Stopping is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, because then you have to live with yourself, but that is the greatest gift you will ever give him, your beloved son.</p><p></p><p>And he may go even further backward before he starts going forward. </p><p></p><p>If you decide to take a firm stand (whatever that looks like), you will need support and help. The idea for counseling is a good one, or Al-Anon or whatever you decide to. Otherwise, he will push hard and it will be too hard.</p><p></p><p>Take it from me. I so understand, believe me. I understand your Mother's Heart and I understand how painful this is for you. But looking back, it's actually more painful for you than it is for him. And that has to change or nothing will ever change.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 692396, member: 17542"] Yes he had a setback and you did the only thing you could do, in my humble opinion. But he didn't pick it up and move it forward after that. He just "stayed back" with the setback. So that's on him. He has had ample time, Lil, and I know that is so hard to bear. And now, it's time to pay the piper. If you two decide to offer one month's rent, that is WAY beyond what you told him you would do. And so again, you are teaching him that you will say one thing and do another (but I get that, I am not criticizing you). When will you stop? That is the question. Stopping is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, because then you have to live with yourself, but that is the greatest gift you will ever give him, your beloved son. And he may go even further backward before he starts going forward. If you decide to take a firm stand (whatever that looks like), you will need support and help. The idea for counseling is a good one, or Al-Anon or whatever you decide to. Otherwise, he will push hard and it will be too hard. Take it from me. I so understand, believe me. I understand your Mother's Heart and I understand how painful this is for you. But looking back, it's actually more painful for you than it is for him. And that has to change or nothing will ever change. [/QUOTE]
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