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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 693139" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Please permit me just a little soapbox rant. I know pot is increasingly becoming legal and there are medicinal uses for it. I get that. I also despair of it because of all I have experienced and continue to experience with friends watching their kids focus on mind-altering substances to the exclusion of the productivity and happiness of their own lives. </p><p></p><p>There are people who cannot and should not use mind-altering substances because it renders them low-function/low-motivation/law-breaking etc. My son is one of those. </p><p></p><p>His two gateway drugs were alcohol and pot. He has a genetic makeup that is riddled with addiction on both sides of the family. </p><p></p><p>So, for me, if my son uses, that is not a good thing for him. It could lead to more addictive behavior. </p><p></p><p>I also know I can't control what he does. He is an adult. If he chooses to drink and smoke pot (and I know he says he drinks some), I can't stop it. But I don't have to like it or agree with it or condone it. </p><p></p><p>Having said all of that, if he were to want to come to stay at my house for any reason, one of the rules would be no substance use while here. </p><p></p><p>What he does when he leaves, again, is up to him. This is about me. I'm not going to watch it or allow it or in any way have him think for a minute that I in any way condone use for him. In fact, it would give me a chance to state my case against it for him all over again---something I don't do because I am working on that boundary. </p><p></p><p>If he goes in for surgery again, I will make sure the doctors know his history, and then I will leave it to them and him. I already told him that. I'm not going to be quiet about this, when it comes to him, but I'm going to maintain boundaries and realize I can't control it. </p><p></p><p>That's me and that's my boundary about that. I realize many people don't agree, and that's okay too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 693139, member: 17542"] Please permit me just a little soapbox rant. I know pot is increasingly becoming legal and there are medicinal uses for it. I get that. I also despair of it because of all I have experienced and continue to experience with friends watching their kids focus on mind-altering substances to the exclusion of the productivity and happiness of their own lives. There are people who cannot and should not use mind-altering substances because it renders them low-function/low-motivation/law-breaking etc. My son is one of those. His two gateway drugs were alcohol and pot. He has a genetic makeup that is riddled with addiction on both sides of the family. So, for me, if my son uses, that is not a good thing for him. It could lead to more addictive behavior. I also know I can't control what he does. He is an adult. If he chooses to drink and smoke pot (and I know he says he drinks some), I can't stop it. But I don't have to like it or agree with it or condone it. Having said all of that, if he were to want to come to stay at my house for any reason, one of the rules would be no substance use while here. What he does when he leaves, again, is up to him. This is about me. I'm not going to watch it or allow it or in any way have him think for a minute that I in any way condone use for him. In fact, it would give me a chance to state my case against it for him all over again---something I don't do because I am working on that boundary. If he goes in for surgery again, I will make sure the doctors know his history, and then I will leave it to them and him. I already told him that. I'm not going to be quiet about this, when it comes to him, but I'm going to maintain boundaries and realize I can't control it. That's me and that's my boundary about that. I realize many people don't agree, and that's okay too. [/QUOTE]
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