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I can't do this....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 693221" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Interesting marijuana discussion people. Thank you. Exhausted from work but will give it a try here.This is my position. My son may not realize it but the next day after he uses marijuana we can always tell because he is depressed, hung over, lethargic and borderline hostile. Without it he is more receptive, responsive, flexible and motivated in small but important ways, like cleaning his mess, sweeping the floor, washing dishes, etc. These things mean a great deal to me, and make a world of difference, for him. Because with these decisions to be constructive, he joins our family, and he gains self-esteem.</p><p></p><p>By choosing to adhere to our no pot rule he gains too, because he has observed a limit for us, to be with us. He has chosen to go down a path that leads to responsibility and belonging, not defiance and flakiness. This means even more, to me. And I believe for him, potentially, as well.</p><p>No. But that is his decision and problem not mine. And I believe, actually, that homelessness did help him. He learned he did not like homelessness, and with this, that it might be worth it to learn to encourage certain behaviors and to discourage others. In other words, to conform in order to get what he wants, and avoid what he doesn't. Actually, I believe homelessness helped. The decision to do what it takes to no longer live in the street, like a roaming animal. He chose society, because he wanted to.</p><p>He tells me that with heavy, frequent use the effects can stay in his body for more than a month. I confirmed that. He tries to convince me it can be even longer, but I do not buy it.</p><p>Now, I never was against either marijuana or medical marijuana--until my son began to use heavily. He wants the high. In CA while there may be some users who use medicinally, it is largely a scam. I buy that it is better to use pot say for anxiety--rather than Xanex. But only to a point. In my son's case the pot use became the center of his life, his only source of motivation.</p><p></p><p>At the dispensaries that sell the pot and the affiliated clinic that sells the cards--there is no oversight what so ever. They sell. They are drug dealers. That is what they are to me.</p><p>I watched the presentations on CNN about medical marijuana, particularly gripping was the one about Charlotte, the baby who had seizures. It was compelling and growers in Colorado developed a special strain of marijuana without the high.</p><p></p><p>But my son wants the high. He loves the high. He seeks the high. His use is not for pain, but for escape. I feel for him, because he seeks escape into weed, and it is a time of peace when he is not depressed. But I cannot give up the hope for a life for him where he functions and deals with reality and learns ways where he himself can manage his symptoms and gain the self-regard that comes from meeting life consciously and on its own terms, not in a stupor.</p><p></p><p>I believe it is my responsibility as a parent, as long as I believe he has what it takes to function purposefully, to require this in my presence and in my home. To let this slide to me would be enabling. I would be letting him down. I would lose my own self-respect.</p><p></p><p>I do not lose sight that it is my son who is responsible for his life, not me. That is what I learned when I came here to this site. I believe it is one of the most important things I have learned in my life, let alone as a parent.</p><p></p><p>In sum, insisting my son not use when he is around us, has been a good thing. His work habits improve. He works harder and better. He is more compliant. He is invested in doing a good job.</p><p></p><p>We are still not sure (he wavers) whether or not he is leaving for the length of time he said. We will see what he decides. But I think he needs to know that there will be consequences from us. Not punishment, like for a child, but consequences in the sense of "effects." Like cause and effect. Because decisions do have consequences. It is part of real life. To let him believe otherwise would be wrong. The real world makes us pay. To act differently would be enabling by me--taking away the consequences--so as to spare him the learning.</p><p></p><p>M is the one who is very big on this. He says we should not influence him one way or another. That the only way we learn is through our errors and our successes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 693221, member: 18958"] Interesting marijuana discussion people. Thank you. Exhausted from work but will give it a try here.This is my position. My son may not realize it but the next day after he uses marijuana we can always tell because he is depressed, hung over, lethargic and borderline hostile. Without it he is more receptive, responsive, flexible and motivated in small but important ways, like cleaning his mess, sweeping the floor, washing dishes, etc. These things mean a great deal to me, and make a world of difference, for him. Because with these decisions to be constructive, he joins our family, and he gains self-esteem. By choosing to adhere to our no pot rule he gains too, because he has observed a limit for us, to be with us. He has chosen to go down a path that leads to responsibility and belonging, not defiance and flakiness. This means even more, to me. And I believe for him, potentially, as well. No. But that is his decision and problem not mine. And I believe, actually, that homelessness did help him. He learned he did not like homelessness, and with this, that it might be worth it to learn to encourage certain behaviors and to discourage others. In other words, to conform in order to get what he wants, and avoid what he doesn't. Actually, I believe homelessness helped. The decision to do what it takes to no longer live in the street, like a roaming animal. He chose society, because he wanted to. He tells me that with heavy, frequent use the effects can stay in his body for more than a month. I confirmed that. He tries to convince me it can be even longer, but I do not buy it. Now, I never was against either marijuana or medical marijuana--until my son began to use heavily. He wants the high. In CA while there may be some users who use medicinally, it is largely a scam. I buy that it is better to use pot say for anxiety--rather than Xanex. But only to a point. In my son's case the pot use became the center of his life, his only source of motivation. At the dispensaries that sell the pot and the affiliated clinic that sells the cards--there is no oversight what so ever. They sell. They are drug dealers. That is what they are to me. I watched the presentations on CNN about medical marijuana, particularly gripping was the one about Charlotte, the baby who had seizures. It was compelling and growers in Colorado developed a special strain of marijuana without the high. But my son wants the high. He loves the high. He seeks the high. His use is not for pain, but for escape. I feel for him, because he seeks escape into weed, and it is a time of peace when he is not depressed. But I cannot give up the hope for a life for him where he functions and deals with reality and learns ways where he himself can manage his symptoms and gain the self-regard that comes from meeting life consciously and on its own terms, not in a stupor. I believe it is my responsibility as a parent, as long as I believe he has what it takes to function purposefully, to require this in my presence and in my home. To let this slide to me would be enabling. I would be letting him down. I would lose my own self-respect. I do not lose sight that it is my son who is responsible for his life, not me. That is what I learned when I came here to this site. I believe it is one of the most important things I have learned in my life, let alone as a parent. In sum, insisting my son not use when he is around us, has been a good thing. His work habits improve. He works harder and better. He is more compliant. He is invested in doing a good job. We are still not sure (he wavers) whether or not he is leaving for the length of time he said. We will see what he decides. But I think he needs to know that there will be consequences from us. Not punishment, like for a child, but consequences in the sense of "effects." Like cause and effect. Because decisions do have consequences. It is part of real life. To let him believe otherwise would be wrong. The real world makes us pay. To act differently would be enabling by me--taking away the consequences--so as to spare him the learning. M is the one who is very big on this. He says we should not influence him one way or another. That the only way we learn is through our errors and our successes. [/QUOTE]
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