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I can't take anymore!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 258388" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>Why? (supposing it's true)</p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure what the initials letters in your signature stand for: Borderline (BPD) (borderline personality disorder?), BiPolar (BP) (bipolar?), but it sounds like she has a lot of chaos going on in her head and maybe to her this lifestyle is 'easier'. Add drugs and alcohol into the mix, her bad experiences with school, her constant conflicts with 'normal' life, it may be the path parents want for their kids (education, good job, steadiness, law abiding) just seems impossibly hard for her. </p><p> </p><p>The struggle of being normal middle class young adult is just too much for her. It takes a lot of self discipline to go to the same job at the same time every day, especially entry level jobs. People do it because they have a vision of how it's going to improve their lives; but she may not be able to envision herself as an adult in that kind of middle class life. </p><p> </p><p>She looks ahead to kids, a white picket fenced house, an office, a degree and she just can't see herself in that picture; not that she doesn't want it; but she can't see how she can fit herself into that picture, it may seem like asking her to start speaking chinese, or to join the Cirque du Soleil as a high wire artist. </p><p> </p><p>And she may also because of her past experiences with school, the law, society, feel that that life has rejected her before she had a chance to find her way into it.</p><p> </p><p>Whereas the life she's chosen may seem like it's easy: easy money, work when she wants, irregular hours, time to party, a certain amount of freedom, the power of feeling desired and attractive to strangers/men, the drama of fighting with her 'boyfriend', very little is required of her, she can 'work' drunk or high (if indeed she's doing that), it's near impossible to be a failure, the violence (if any) with her boyfriend seems immediate and is diversionary from her larger problems (focus on him and his problems, rather than her own), and her mental illness prevents her from seeing the long term consequences of her actions; she's too busy getting through the day to wonder about what's going to happen in 10 years. Toss in a little seasoning about how popular culture glamorizes this choice, and it's not surprising some of our dear children are lost this way.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not saying this is any of it true for her, only that there <em>are </em>other reasons for these choices than she had a bad mother, or a terrible childhood, or that she's been let down by people who love her. </p><p> </p><p>But in America and in your heart there will always be a second and third and forth and more chance. She can change her mind at any time. A lot of women do. </p><p> </p><p>I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, and still hope that somehow it's not true.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 258388, member: 5169"] Why? (supposing it's true) I'm not sure what the initials letters in your signature stand for: Borderline (BPD) (borderline personality disorder?), BiPolar (BP) (bipolar?), but it sounds like she has a lot of chaos going on in her head and maybe to her this lifestyle is 'easier'. Add drugs and alcohol into the mix, her bad experiences with school, her constant conflicts with 'normal' life, it may be the path parents want for their kids (education, good job, steadiness, law abiding) just seems impossibly hard for her. The struggle of being normal middle class young adult is just too much for her. It takes a lot of self discipline to go to the same job at the same time every day, especially entry level jobs. People do it because they have a vision of how it's going to improve their lives; but she may not be able to envision herself as an adult in that kind of middle class life. She looks ahead to kids, a white picket fenced house, an office, a degree and she just can't see herself in that picture; not that she doesn't want it; but she can't see how she can fit herself into that picture, it may seem like asking her to start speaking chinese, or to join the Cirque du Soleil as a high wire artist. And she may also because of her past experiences with school, the law, society, feel that that life has rejected her before she had a chance to find her way into it. Whereas the life she's chosen may seem like it's easy: easy money, work when she wants, irregular hours, time to party, a certain amount of freedom, the power of feeling desired and attractive to strangers/men, the drama of fighting with her 'boyfriend', very little is required of her, she can 'work' drunk or high (if indeed she's doing that), it's near impossible to be a failure, the violence (if any) with her boyfriend seems immediate and is diversionary from her larger problems (focus on him and his problems, rather than her own), and her mental illness prevents her from seeing the long term consequences of her actions; she's too busy getting through the day to wonder about what's going to happen in 10 years. Toss in a little seasoning about how popular culture glamorizes this choice, and it's not surprising some of our dear children are lost this way. I'm not saying this is any of it true for her, only that there [I]are [/I]other reasons for these choices than she had a bad mother, or a terrible childhood, or that she's been let down by people who love her. But in America and in your heart there will always be a second and third and forth and more chance. She can change her mind at any time. A lot of women do. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, and still hope that somehow it's not true. [/QUOTE]
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