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I don't think I can hold on.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 33047" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Don't blame yourself. it only slows you down. The system is supposed to be there to step in and assess when parents are burning out, they aren't supposed to leave everything to parents when it's clear people aren't coping. When he was in jail and nothing was done, the judge should have put a rocket up whoever didn't call the shrink in.</p><p></p><p>I want to stress to people - you are NOT in the US, you are in Canada. The laws and health system are different. So, before you refuse to have him back, in front of a judge, do some homework and find out what will happen to him and you if you do refuse. To find out - can you do what I would do, and contact your local parliamentarian? Some local p o litician (have to misspell because the site censor doesn't like that word for some weird reason). You need answers, fast. </p><p></p><p>Your son needs an assessment, urgently. And I'm not sure how you can arrange that. Why isn't the SW organising it? Or is such a task outside her professional scope? It sounds to me that you are in a Catch 22 situation, you are telling people this, they are agreeing with you, then immediately telling you to do x, y or z when you've just explained why it's impossible. When this begins to happen, it's a signal that it's time to go over people's heads. And keep going higher until you get a response. Whoever you DO end up going to, don't go there if you haven't the courage to stick it out and say what has to be said, even if it's to the media. Sometimes you go high enough and it snowballs, you find yourself talking about the problem to very important people and it's vital that you don't get stage fright.</p><p></p><p>I'm not trying to scare you, I only want you to test your own resolve before you take that step. And in the absence of any common sense alternative, I think you may need to consider taking that step.</p><p></p><p>For now - ask the SW if there's any way she can organise a fast assessment for your son. If she says she can't, ask her who she can refer you to, who can. You may get fobbed off a few times but keep asking that question: "If you can't help me, then please give me the name of the person who can."</p><p>Keep a written record of all this; who gives you what name (I log the phone numbers there, too) and what the result was. Date each entry. Because eventually, if you keep doing this, you will get to someone who CAN help, and who will be VERY curious about those who said they could not. They will want a list of names, dates and places.</p><p>That list also comes in handy if a judge ever says you didn't try hard enough.</p><p></p><p>As for whether this is bipolar, I can't help you there. But if there is a chance that this is treatable with medications, the sooner he gets assessed the better for everyone, including him.</p><p></p><p>Is there a bipolar support network in Canada that you could approach for practical advice about your situation? They will be more familiar with your legal and health system and how you can get around the barriers you now have.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 33047, member: 1991"] Don't blame yourself. it only slows you down. The system is supposed to be there to step in and assess when parents are burning out, they aren't supposed to leave everything to parents when it's clear people aren't coping. When he was in jail and nothing was done, the judge should have put a rocket up whoever didn't call the shrink in. I want to stress to people - you are NOT in the US, you are in Canada. The laws and health system are different. So, before you refuse to have him back, in front of a judge, do some homework and find out what will happen to him and you if you do refuse. To find out - can you do what I would do, and contact your local parliamentarian? Some local p o litician (have to misspell because the site censor doesn't like that word for some weird reason). You need answers, fast. Your son needs an assessment, urgently. And I'm not sure how you can arrange that. Why isn't the SW organising it? Or is such a task outside her professional scope? It sounds to me that you are in a Catch 22 situation, you are telling people this, they are agreeing with you, then immediately telling you to do x, y or z when you've just explained why it's impossible. When this begins to happen, it's a signal that it's time to go over people's heads. And keep going higher until you get a response. Whoever you DO end up going to, don't go there if you haven't the courage to stick it out and say what has to be said, even if it's to the media. Sometimes you go high enough and it snowballs, you find yourself talking about the problem to very important people and it's vital that you don't get stage fright. I'm not trying to scare you, I only want you to test your own resolve before you take that step. And in the absence of any common sense alternative, I think you may need to consider taking that step. For now - ask the SW if there's any way she can organise a fast assessment for your son. If she says she can't, ask her who she can refer you to, who can. You may get fobbed off a few times but keep asking that question: "If you can't help me, then please give me the name of the person who can." Keep a written record of all this; who gives you what name (I log the phone numbers there, too) and what the result was. Date each entry. Because eventually, if you keep doing this, you will get to someone who CAN help, and who will be VERY curious about those who said they could not. They will want a list of names, dates and places. That list also comes in handy if a judge ever says you didn't try hard enough. As for whether this is bipolar, I can't help you there. But if there is a chance that this is treatable with medications, the sooner he gets assessed the better for everyone, including him. Is there a bipolar support network in Canada that you could approach for practical advice about your situation? They will be more familiar with your legal and health system and how you can get around the barriers you now have. Good luck! Marg [/QUOTE]
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