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I fall every time
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<blockquote data-quote="Bettyboo44" data-source="post: 766359" data-attributes="member: 33737"><p>Worndown68, I totally respect you don’t want advice but am so glad you posted.</p><p>I’m saddened that you are struggling both health wise and financially, hardly no sleep for a week sounds beyond draining, you must be struggling to function <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />. This time of year definitely brings up a lot of memories of what was/what we envisioned it would be like/or hoped it to be.</p><p>That sounds very hurtful and distressing, receiving that phone message from your daughter and then blank….nothing, after you had sent such a large amount of money, when all you wanted was a little reassurance.</p><p></p><p>I hope you know that it’s absolutely not your responsibility to give your adult children any money, not one more cent ever if you should decide not to. You texted your daughter after giving her such a generous gift offering words of support and just wanting a little reassurance…unfortunately I fear she didn’t care about your feelings or if your financially struggling, but only contacted you for money, knowing from previous experiences she’d get exactly what she wanted. You said that’s all they (both your daughters) want, but what about you Worndown68, what about what you want and need, for 50 years you’ve always put their wants and needs before yours. Your daughters haven’t changed their behaviours in 40 years, and unfortunately there’s nothing you can say or do that will ever change that, ever. Trying is only causing you detrimental pain in so many aspects, and it’s all in vain, they’ll do what they want to, regardless of whether your doing tip top or in the depths of despair, they will do what they choose to.</p><p></p><p>So I hope you can find it in your heart to start putting you first, minding yourself, and your health and spending YOUR money on you. You deserve peace, love and friendship (sounds like you have denied yourself this for far far too long), so I genuinely hope you allow yourself to have that in the knowledge your adult children are going to do what they choose to, totally irrespective of anything you say or do. If you do make new friends, you don’t have to divulge your daughters lifestyles if you don’t want to or equally friends with similar situations can be of great support and comfort…this site shows that such people do exist!</p><p></p><p>Your puppy sounds adorable, I’m glad ye found each other and that you have your grandchildren, and they have you. I hope you can start using your time and energy on people (and dogs <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />) that value you half as much as you value them.</p><p>I agree Copabanana has been like a guardian angel to me and so many others on here <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🙏" title="Folded hands :pray:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f64f.png" data-shortname=":pray:" /></p><p>Sending hugs to you and your puppy <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="💚" title="Green heart :green_heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f49a.png" data-shortname=":green_heart:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bettyboo44, post: 766359, member: 33737"] Worndown68, I totally respect you don’t want advice but am so glad you posted. I’m saddened that you are struggling both health wise and financially, hardly no sleep for a week sounds beyond draining, you must be struggling to function :(. This time of year definitely brings up a lot of memories of what was/what we envisioned it would be like/or hoped it to be. That sounds very hurtful and distressing, receiving that phone message from your daughter and then blank….nothing, after you had sent such a large amount of money, when all you wanted was a little reassurance. I hope you know that it’s absolutely not your responsibility to give your adult children any money, not one more cent ever if you should decide not to. You texted your daughter after giving her such a generous gift offering words of support and just wanting a little reassurance…unfortunately I fear she didn’t care about your feelings or if your financially struggling, but only contacted you for money, knowing from previous experiences she’d get exactly what she wanted. You said that’s all they (both your daughters) want, but what about you Worndown68, what about what you want and need, for 50 years you’ve always put their wants and needs before yours. Your daughters haven’t changed their behaviours in 40 years, and unfortunately there’s nothing you can say or do that will ever change that, ever. Trying is only causing you detrimental pain in so many aspects, and it’s all in vain, they’ll do what they want to, regardless of whether your doing tip top or in the depths of despair, they will do what they choose to. So I hope you can find it in your heart to start putting you first, minding yourself, and your health and spending YOUR money on you. You deserve peace, love and friendship (sounds like you have denied yourself this for far far too long), so I genuinely hope you allow yourself to have that in the knowledge your adult children are going to do what they choose to, totally irrespective of anything you say or do. If you do make new friends, you don’t have to divulge your daughters lifestyles if you don’t want to or equally friends with similar situations can be of great support and comfort…this site shows that such people do exist! Your puppy sounds adorable, I’m glad ye found each other and that you have your grandchildren, and they have you. I hope you can start using your time and energy on people (and dogs :)) that value you half as much as you value them. I agree Copabanana has been like a guardian angel to me and so many others on here 🙏 Sending hugs to you and your puppy 💚 [/QUOTE]
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