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I fall every time
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<blockquote data-quote="FallingIn" data-source="post: 766548" data-attributes="member: 26369"><p>I haven't posted for awhile, unfortunately, nothing much has changed with my son who is 26, unemployed, alcoholic, doesn't drive and dropped out of school in grade 8. He has been living with me on and off since 2020. He's been back since last August and I set the boundary of not drinking at home. Well of course this didn't last long. He doesn't drink everyday as he has no money. He sometimes sells stuff to get alcohol, steals money from me while I'm sleeping, or he gets the occasional cheque from the govt. I know I have a huge problem of not following through with boundaries I have set. Reading your stories helps to reinforce that I need to put myself first, it's hard tho. So, I'm going down the road that has not gone well for so many on this site. I bought an apartment for my son to live. He moves there next week. When he's sober, he is polite and respective - just extremely depressed and talks alot of self hatred. When drunk, he takes all his frustrations out on me (verbally not physically). He says the ugliest things to me and blames me for bringing him into this world. He has asked every medical professional for assisted suicide as he is too afraid to do it himself. He has asked me to do it for years which just kills me inside. I can't take the verbal abuse any longer so I need him out of my house. He has no friends as he suffers from extreme social anxiety. That is why he drinks to get liquid courage to go out and meet people. Unfortunately, the only people who want to associate with him when he's drunk are homeless people (just to take advantage of him, he knows this too). He has said he asks people to hang out with him, but they turn him down - of course they do! What "normal" people would want to hang out with a drunk. Which reinforces to him that he is unlikable, not worth anything, etc. I feel so sorry for him, which is why I have not walked away from him. I don't know what will happen when he's out on his own, I just hope he doesn't get complaints about being too loud or bringing homeless people to his place. But he's an adult and responsible for what he does. Having him out of my place will give me some peace (I'm still recovering from cancer), and to get my life back. My friends and family shake their heads at me, but they understand why I am doing this. Wish me luck, I am going to need it. </p><p>This forum is a great help. There are so many of us going through similar things. It helps to read how strong others are, and gives me hope I can be strong too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FallingIn, post: 766548, member: 26369"] I haven't posted for awhile, unfortunately, nothing much has changed with my son who is 26, unemployed, alcoholic, doesn't drive and dropped out of school in grade 8. He has been living with me on and off since 2020. He's been back since last August and I set the boundary of not drinking at home. Well of course this didn't last long. He doesn't drink everyday as he has no money. He sometimes sells stuff to get alcohol, steals money from me while I'm sleeping, or he gets the occasional cheque from the govt. I know I have a huge problem of not following through with boundaries I have set. Reading your stories helps to reinforce that I need to put myself first, it's hard tho. So, I'm going down the road that has not gone well for so many on this site. I bought an apartment for my son to live. He moves there next week. When he's sober, he is polite and respective - just extremely depressed and talks alot of self hatred. When drunk, he takes all his frustrations out on me (verbally not physically). He says the ugliest things to me and blames me for bringing him into this world. He has asked every medical professional for assisted suicide as he is too afraid to do it himself. He has asked me to do it for years which just kills me inside. I can't take the verbal abuse any longer so I need him out of my house. He has no friends as he suffers from extreme social anxiety. That is why he drinks to get liquid courage to go out and meet people. Unfortunately, the only people who want to associate with him when he's drunk are homeless people (just to take advantage of him, he knows this too). He has said he asks people to hang out with him, but they turn him down - of course they do! What "normal" people would want to hang out with a drunk. Which reinforces to him that he is unlikable, not worth anything, etc. I feel so sorry for him, which is why I have not walked away from him. I don't know what will happen when he's out on his own, I just hope he doesn't get complaints about being too loud or bringing homeless people to his place. But he's an adult and responsible for what he does. Having him out of my place will give me some peace (I'm still recovering from cancer), and to get my life back. My friends and family shake their heads at me, but they understand why I am doing this. Wish me luck, I am going to need it. This forum is a great help. There are so many of us going through similar things. It helps to read how strong others are, and gives me hope I can be strong too. [/QUOTE]
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