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General Parenting
I feel like I "can't" discipline my depressed teen
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 678633" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Lonely Bee,</p><p></p><p>My son used threats of suicide to manipulate me since he was 8 years old. Strangely enough, it wasn't until after his father actually died from suicide that I realized that I couldn't allow that fear to control my choices. My late husband never really grew up. It still blows my mind that as a 55 year old man, his father would come bail him out of jail. I was the one who put him in after he violated a protective order (long,ugly story). When I was terrified of my mentally ill husband, my father in law sprung him from jail. It would have been safer for everyone for him to stay put.</p><p></p><p>My son has a much greater risk of suicide than the average person. BUT, I cannot allow fear of what MIGHT occur to cloud my judgment when parenting him. I've become much stricter in the past few years, and Ferb has responded by becoming more responsible. Remember that as parents it is up to us to attempt to mold these uncivilized children it more civilized adults. We do that by giving them rules and expecting them to carry their own weight. </p><p></p><p>I also wanted to tell you that right after I discovered that Ferb had run up my credit card bill without permission, I refused to allow him to stay at the house alone. I made certain that he was properly supervised for another 3 months. When we went out of town, he had to stay with family members. It was a huge inconvenience, but he had to earn back the right to stay alone in the house. I also have spying neighbors who will rat him out if necessary. Sometimes you have to ask others for help in parenting. Most of the time, people - family, friends, neighbors, understand that and are willing to lend a hand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 678633, member: 11832"] Lonely Bee, My son used threats of suicide to manipulate me since he was 8 years old. Strangely enough, it wasn't until after his father actually died from suicide that I realized that I couldn't allow that fear to control my choices. My late husband never really grew up. It still blows my mind that as a 55 year old man, his father would come bail him out of jail. I was the one who put him in after he violated a protective order (long,ugly story). When I was terrified of my mentally ill husband, my father in law sprung him from jail. It would have been safer for everyone for him to stay put. My son has a much greater risk of suicide than the average person. BUT, I cannot allow fear of what MIGHT occur to cloud my judgment when parenting him. I've become much stricter in the past few years, and Ferb has responded by becoming more responsible. Remember that as parents it is up to us to attempt to mold these uncivilized children it more civilized adults. We do that by giving them rules and expecting them to carry their own weight. I also wanted to tell you that right after I discovered that Ferb had run up my credit card bill without permission, I refused to allow him to stay at the house alone. I made certain that he was properly supervised for another 3 months. When we went out of town, he had to stay with family members. It was a huge inconvenience, but he had to earn back the right to stay alone in the house. I also have spying neighbors who will rat him out if necessary. Sometimes you have to ask others for help in parenting. Most of the time, people - family, friends, neighbors, understand that and are willing to lend a hand. [/QUOTE]
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I feel like I "can't" discipline my depressed teen
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